UHS Offers Virtual STD Screenings Over Snow Day Hot
SexStudent Life January 29, 2026
UHS announced on Sunday that they would be offering, for one day and one day only, virtual screenings for sexually transmitted diseases.
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ResLife To Acquire Mod Igloos, Looks To House Quads
Dorm Stuff January 28, 2026
Announced on Monday night, Mod Igloos will be equipped with four raised cots to house a willing quad. These cots will be preset in a circle, yet, according to ResLife, “can be rearranged in any reasonable and fire safety compliant pattern of the residents choosing!” The Igloos will also come pre-furnished with one oil lamp in the center of the den.
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Boston College Announces Plans To Open New Satellite Campus In Ittoqqortoormiit, Greenland
Big IssuesCampus CultureResLife January 22, 2026
As part of President Donald J. Trump’s plan to annex Greenland, Trump has been working to establish an educational institute in the soon-to-be 51st state.
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After careful deliberation and council from The Heightsmen and the team’s recruiting coordinators, the announcement was made that the Eagles would be welcoming quarterback transfer Chiquitita (no last name could be procured at press time). Chiquitita is a 27 year old redshirt freshman from Mamma Mia Catholic Conservatory, and is currently majoring in musical theater.
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BC Dining Reveals New RFK-Approved Food Pyramid
Uncategorized January 20, 2026
The director of BC Dining, Carnie Vore, says the new BC Food Pyramid “better aligns with the new nutritional standards set by the U.S. Government and ensures our students can fuel their mind, bodies, and carotid artery plaque.”
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“Are You More Shane Or Ilya Coded?” Says Girl Wondering If Her Boyfriend Would Be Chill With A Strap On
SexSportsStudent Life January 16, 2026
Heated Rivalry has gone platinum in every Kotska triple and investigators for the Classic found the perfect case study of the impact of gay hockey smut on the female libido: the situationship of Suzanne Cox (MCAS ‘28) and Donald Ildo (CSOM ‘28).
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Your girlfriend just completed her semester abroad in Barcelona! Now that she has returned to her humble Foster Street abode, let us take a look back at the top 10 things she did in Barça.
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“Only Coke When I’m Drinking” And Other New Years Resolutions For Your CSOM Classmate
Campus CultureListsWTF January 14, 2026
“Lowkey once I got my offer things kinda got off the rails,” said Dee Generette (CSOM ‘27), “… So I definitely wanted to lock the fuck back in this year. We’re gonna be dialed.” Generette was kind enough to share with us some of his aspirations for, as he put it, “the big two-six.” Some of his lofty goals consist of the following.
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NEC’s 2026 Adds and Drops
Student Life January 13, 2026
It’s not just required classes, however, that we’re cutting out of our lives by January 21st. We’ll be getting all sorts of things right this semester! So buckle up and bust down, here are Spring 2026’s definitive, beyond-question, science-backed, and high-protein adds and drops.
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WASP Infestation In The Theology Department: Boston College Catholics Are Stung
Big IssuesSchool November 14, 2025
It all started when the Morrissey College of Arts and Sciences decided to implement a new diversity, equity, and inclusion policy that mandated hiring one staff member who crosses their arms over their chest during communion each academic year.
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