The New England Classic
Student Body Flips On Thanksgiving Poll: “We No Longer Ever Wish To Go Home”
SERVICES.BC.EDU — In a shocking last-minute push, Boston College students overwhelmingly reversed course on the Thanksgiving ultimatum that the University posed to them in late October. While projections from the Associated Press initially showed that, as of Monday, a majority of students planned to go home, the fallout from... Read more
Record Number of Americans Express Newfound Love for Edging

“It’s the reluctance to call Florida for me. Every time I get close, she [Rachel Maddow] pulls away… it’s driving me absolutely nuts,” reported Chris Stoke (CSOM `23).

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OP-ED: A Perfectly Normal Tuesday
Well, I can’t seem to explain it really — compared to the commotion of most others days so far, today’s shaping up to be about as perfectly ordinary as it gets. Perhaps I should elaborate. My alarm went off at seven, as it usually does. I snoozed it just... Read more
“Hey, You Guys Almost Beat Clemson!” Reports Uncle

“This was the first message between the two in four months, save for a Washington Examiner article about college students joining “Marxist organizations” in which McGuinness had tagged his niece.”

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Spooky: Roommate Seriously Considering Sexy RBG Costume
WALSH HALL — Recent reports from multiple Walsh residents have confirmed that local roommate and VSCO girl Sarah Sleshinger was seriously considering a “sexy RBG” costume for this Halloween. The costume, consisting of only the little white collar-thing and a gavel in the shape of a penis, was purchased... Read more
Spooky: It’s Not Me, It’s You

“It’s kind of sad, but I really can’t say that I’m to blame.”

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Spooky: Mike@Mac Is Your New Stepdad
McELROY COMMONS— Senior Stephen Kelly (‘21) got more than he paid for at his most recent trip to McElroy Commons. Kelly, who usually frequents Lower Dining Hall or his own 2150 Kitchen, found himself in the Upper campus eatery to grab a quick chicken and two sides after his... Read more
Spooky: BC Bookstore Sale Offering 20% Off Your Life Expectancy

I felt a phantasm of my mother’s being beckoning me, like a tether to this corporeal realm, and as she called me back from the darkness, she whispered, ‘Get your father and I “BC Mom and Dad” fleece jackets, sweetie.

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Spooky: A Ghost Stole My Red Tab!

“The only spirit I know is Holy, and He would never commit such a heinous act.”

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Freshman Blissfully Unaware Her Weekends Probably Would Have Looked Like This Anyway

“If there was no virus going around, me and the girls would be having the craziest weekend of all time.”

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