LTE: My Intramural Pickleball Team Could SO Beat Every Women’s Olympic Team
Campus CultureStudent LifeWTF February 24, 2026
Watching all of the teams and analyzing their skills, I can confidently say that my intramural team could have absolutely beaten most, if not all, of the female Olympic teams. Even though my intramural team is for pickleball, plenty of my guys played JV, and some varsity hockey in high school. Those guys were top of their game at their New England prep schools, and could surely go right back to it if they played the women’s team.
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ALERT: Everyone Else Is In Class Today, Idiot! Now Your Professor Hates You
Big IssuesCampus CultureWTF February 23, 2026
For the first time, each one of your classes has near perfect attendance. A total of 249/250 people in your 9:00 AM lecture are all happy, present, and ready to learn! Your professor is so proud of them. But you, you specifically, are absent. Fucking moron! Everyone is laughing at you!
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Kostka Girls Spotted Tanning As February Temperatures Reach A Record 42 Degrees
Campus CultureStudent Life February 20, 2026
Spring has sprung on Boston College’s campus, with the 18 inches of snow on the ground dwindling down to a mere four. Puffers are unzipped, scarves have been stowed, and temperatures have climbed to a balmy 40 degrees (for a singular day).
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As the Winter Olympics reach full swing, and countless midterm study opportunities are squandered by sports you didn’t know existed last week, our staff at The New England Classic have had our hearts captured by one specific event.
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Chat-GPT, Please Summarize My Environmental Ethics Readings
School February 18, 2026
Malkingdom explained to the Classic that her “stupid fucking idiotic ethics class assigns like 30 pages per week of reading” and “legit the only way to survive the class is by using AI, sorry not sorry.” Despite the environmental harms of AI–water use, toxic electronic waste, and fossil fuel use–Malkingdom cited the harms to herself if she did all the readings: not being able to go to Barcelona on Thursday, less time snapping her huzz Tim, and neglecting her homework for other more important classes like Introduction to Hamilton the American Musical.
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Students get their hopes up that their situationship will snap them back by the big day, disinterested boyfriends same-day ship gold-painted roses from TikTok shop, and long-distance couples organize a call for some quality time semi-together.
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10 Kalshi Bets That Somehow Didn’t Hit For Your Roommate This Super Bowl
SportsStudent Life February 11, 2026
In case that doesn’t sound like the best time ever, there’s one more thing you could’ve added for guaranteed fun: gambling on Kalshi. If you also wanted to spend your Sunday screaming at the TV and Gronk spiking your phone on the ground, here are some of the bets you could’ve joined your roommate on.
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In an interview with Pat “Pat Sloveer” Sloveer (CSOM ‘28) and his girlfriend, Pykmeigh Gurrell (CSON ‘29), the couple shared how they have brought Drake Maye into their intimate lives—for the sake of all of New England.
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“Technically By Credits, I’m A Senior” Says 30-Year-Old Man At The 100 Days Dance
Campus CultureStudent Life February 6, 2026
“Technically by credits, I’m a senior this year,” says Cho Pedunc (MCAS ‘18, MCAS ‘26), “So this year I was finally able to get my ticket. I am excited to get ‘sendy’ with my fellow eagles!”
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UGBC President Saw Their Shadow, Six More Weeks Until UGBC Statement On ICE
Big IssuesStudent Life February 6, 2026
After Punxsutawney Phil declared his shadow seen on Fox News, President Dewchitt was quick to relay the news to the rest of the UGBC senate. In an emoji-filled message sent to the UGBC discord titled “UGBC4LIFE????????” on Monday, February 2nd, Dewchitt affirmed, “the ICE stuff is gonna have to wait ???? i dont make the rules — the beaver does ????.”
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