SPOOKY: Ghosts Forced To Find New Haunts Because Of Guest Policy Crackdown
Campus CultureDorm StuffSpooky October 26, 2021
The outbreak began a few weeks ago with the beginning of the new lunar cycle, according to supernatural scholars. “We are very concerned by these latest developments,” said Fr. Donald Callahan. “While the number of infected students is still relatively low, that is more of a sign of the lack of virgins on campus, which is equally troubling.”
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I thought fake ids were a myth – the type of thing you only see in Superbad. Like, it’s literally illegal. I’m a good kid. Sure, I like a good underage drink once in a while but identity theft?!
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Satan Visited Campus Today, And Yup, It Was Awesome
Campus CultureWTF October 22, 2021
“Yep. It was awesome,“ said Tugger Moatroder (MCAS ’23).
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Sophomore Goes on Retreat for Three Months to Six Years
Student LifeWTF October 21, 2021
“Many students have reported rigorous fingerprinting procedures and are supposedly required to have a session with a Boston-based criminal defense attorney.”
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Circle Tavern “Edgar Allan Poe Night” Offers Chains, Wine, And Cement Special
BostonDrinkingStudent Life October 19, 2021
Some staff members have been arguing that being made of chocolate makes you unqualified to coach a premier Division I hockey program, yet the players seem to be attracted to his unique method.
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“I don’t know how anyone could think that a campus-sponsored group would be handing out nude centerfolds to teenage boys.”
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Father Leahy supposedly told the senior staff assembled that he would “not let it look like we’re copying those Ivy League fucks,” his frock crumbling with disdain as if it were flustered as well.
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