The New England Classic
Student Awakes From Late-Afternoon Nap, Immediately Prepares for Early-Evening Nap

“A nap helps me stay motivated,” said Restful, already fluffing her pillow. “It gets me ready to get down to business and pump out some assignments.” Opening her laptop, Restful proceeded to spend a half-hour on Instagram before closing her laptop again. “I definitely couldn’t do without it.”

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8-Man Gives Up Slurs For Lent

“We just thought, you know, this was the year to really take our faith seriously,” said Big Ette (CSOM ’25). “So, yeah, we’re Catholic and proud and we aren’t saying ANY slurs except the f-slur out of devotion to our faith.”

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Application Mishap Places Study Abroad Hopeful At Barcelona Wine Bar

Terbrain said that she never thought twice about the interview at the restaurant, believing that it was simply to confirm her eligibility for the abroad program. “I spent the whole time talking about my love for tapas while shoving my face with patatas bravas and sangria to show them my love for the culture. I was a little confused when she kept explaining that I wouldn’t be able to drink on the job… last time I checked, the drinking age is eighteen in Spain.”

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Slimiest Guy You Know Works For Eagles Realty Now
MCELROY COMMONS– In today’s modern labor market, the true “9-5” may be going out of business. Replacing it are a slew of recently popularized streams of passive income. Students at BC are determined to not be left behind in the obsolete 9-5 world, and are constantly looking for ways... Read more
Help! The Girl Scout In Mac Bit Me.

Last week, Tum was on her way to Mac for her lunch. “I did everything I usually do. I made a beeline straight for the stairs without even peeking at the tables,” Tum recalled. “But as soon as I took two steps inside the lobby–*MUNCH*–there she was, a Girl Scout nibbling at my ankle.”

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“We’re Actually Pretty Middle Class” Says Kid Whose Parents Started The War In Iraq
GASSON HALL– The core curriculum, a cornerstone of Boston College’s educational pedagogy, offers many students the unique opportunity to discover that people have lived experiences. Professors often ask students to consider and share how their identities impact their lives.  Overwhelmed by his peers sharing their identities and experiences that... Read more
Friend Whose Dad Works At McKinsey Is “Also Worried” About Postgrad

O’Baby, who has been to the Turks and Caicos 14 times and spent a summer interning for former President Barack Obama, denies that her father’s position has afforded her any extra opportunities.

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Super Generous Boyfriend Shares His Love With Multiple Women

For the lucky few who survived the 2022-2023 cuffing season, love is in the air this week! And for a couple of BC women, one man will spread romance, legs, and an unquenchable burning sensation all week long.

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Rampant Misogynist Says You Can’t Come To Super Bowl Watch Party To Only Watch Commercials

“It’s fun to have some eye candy in the room,” said Ist when interviewed by the Classic about his evening gathering. “I just don’t want them yapping about the commercials the entire time. I’m from Philly, so it’s a big night for me.” Hist, who has been described by his girl friends as “tone deaf,” and “insulting,” hails from Wilmington, Delaware. 

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Spring Break Planning Uncovers That No One In The Friend Group Actually Likes Each Other

Through the thin walls of Walsh Hall, sophomores chatter about roommate preferences, expenses, and location possibilities. Though in theory it is an exciting time, it isn’t looking too pretty for the groups we spoke with.

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