Fitz And The Tantrums! Why Is My Ex Situationship Playing Stokes Set?
Campus CultureDorm StuffStudent Life September 19, 2025
When asked what he thought about the Campus Activities Board’s choice of performers, Cha shared with the Classic these valuable insights: “I think it’s kind of weird that CAB would ask that chick I hooked up with a few times last year to perform. At least that’s what I think Fitz and the Tantrums is?”
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LTE: Help! My Resident Minister Offered Me Her Cookie!
Campus CultureJesuitsSexWTF September 18, 2025
That’s when my problem began. I was taking the Walsh elevator to the third floor when I found myself trapped with the resident minister. I tried to avoid her by playing with my COC (clash of clans) but, apparently, she took that to mean something else.
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“God whispered the idea to me during my mid-afternoon Examen; the best way to overcome our rivals is to become them, so we are bringing the prison experiment to Chestnut Hill,” said Fr. Leahy.
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Dik paused to pop a Zyn and recount his professor, “She was gettin’ into the nitty gritty of mean and median, when she clarified that the magnitude in median was bull, and the magic was in personality and like humor and shi. I resonated with that, so I took it to my bois and the rest is history.”
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BC Administration Cuts Office Of Sustainability To Make Room For Office of War
Campus CultureJesuitsLeahyStudent Life September 11, 2025
At the start of this year, the Boston College administration downsized the Office of Sustainability from one non-student employee to zero, leaving students and faculty wondering: “What’s next?” and “Shit, shit… shit?” The administration responded to calls for an explanation by announcing their grand opening of the Office of War. The announcement marks the beginning of an exciting chapter in BC’s history of imperial expansion.
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Freshmen Don’t Want Your Friendship, They Want Your Vote
Campus CultureFreshmenStudent Life September 10, 2025
The Boston College Class of 2029 is now running for UGBC Senate! They moved past wanting you as a bus buddy, and are now focused on their Senate campaign to “invest in their future” as a future partner of their dad’s law firm. Tactics to win the freshmen vote include holding up QR codes in front of lost-looking individuals near Walsh or the Mods, as well as posing as bouncers at Two Saints where they take fake IDs, collect $20 to cut the line, and snag their vote!
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Campus Rec Reports Sauna Overcrowding As Students Prepare For Sweaty Parties
Campus CultureDrinkingWTF September 5, 2025
The Classic spoke to some of the women in line, asking them why they would be willing to wait for so long just for a sauna? They all responded similarly, saying that they needed to be ready for the weekend.
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“Forever Fitz Girls” Are Over After Labor Day Weekend On The Cape
Campus CultureFreshmenStudent Life September 4, 2025
Madysynn and seven other residents on the second floor of Fitzpatrick Hall thought they had it all figured out. By Labor Day Weekend, they had already discussed plans for a Walsh 8-man and contacted Urban Realty about that house on Kirk for junior year. Little did they know, it would all come to a screeching halt by the time they passed Plymouth.
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This is when things started to get uncomfortable, and he told me my service placement was “some guy named Phil” to whom I was only meant to call Papa P. I was then instructed to wear an Urban Outfitters corset to my service day, and was given a one way Charlie Card that only worked for the red line. I didn’t even know that they made those, but I guess I am just a small town girl…
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ResLife Announces New 5-Man Suites In Alignment With Recent Vatican Announcement
Dorm StuffJesuitsResLife September 2, 2025
This new housing opportunity allows BC students to live together with their four closest “friends,” just like the Pope.
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