Articles | Page 2 of 78 | The New England Classic

Professors Replaced By Kiosks

School March 20, 2024

“‘We thought it might be best to start rolling out our kiosk professors in the most straightforward discipline. Things like finance might be too difficult for a robot to explain, but things like the meaning of life, or the existence of God, felt like the right alley to try this out,’ noted representatives from the administration.”

LTE: I’m T-pain, You Know Me–T-Pain Wrote This Article

Campus Culture LTE WTF March 19, 2024

I’m T-Pain, you know me! What’s your name? Let me talk to ‘em!

Newton Woods Treehouse and 9 Other Creative Housing Options Suggested By ResLife

Dorm Stuff Lists ResLife March 14, 2024

Rather than fix the broken housing process or invest in any quality housing options, Reslife has instead supplied the Classic with a list of suggested alternatives to traditional housing.

BC Girl Reconnects With Her Jesuit Values, Only Eats Bread Rolls And House Wine In Punta

Holidays Service Student Life March 13, 2024

“She promptly described her powerful experience at her 4-day mass in a ‘distant place,’ providing plenty of candids of her consumption of the ‘house wine blood’ and “bread roll body” of Christ.”

LTE: All Good Deeds Are Inherently Selfish

Campus Culture Drinking Service Student Life March 2, 2024

At the end of the day are we not just serving ourselves? I over serve myself in alcohol and you over serve yourself in the reception of gratitude and acknowledgement, are we both not drunk?

Conte Skate Turns Into The 78th Annual Hunger Games

Uncategorized February 27, 2024

CONTE FORUM — Last night, Boston College packed Conte once more. This time, however, it wasn’t Will Smith on the ice, no sir, it was the normal, worthless students. Conte Skate was back! But something was wrong – the Nut was packed and it became apparent that there simply... Read more

Leahy Sends APPA Students To Camp Green Lake To Search For Oil

Leahy Service February 22, 2024

“This week you will have one task: Holes. You’ll be digging up as many holes as you can. No breaks and no water unless you can find something for me. Something golden and rich. Something oily…”.

Visiting The Only Chipotle In Your Country And Other Ways To Make Yourself Feel At Home While Abroad

Uncategorized February 21, 2024

“‘I missed home, I missed B.C., and I really, really missed the fiesta bowl from Addie’s,’ said Homsic.”

7 Things We Found In Bill O’Brien’s Chin

Uncategorized February 21, 2024

YAWKEY ATHLETICS CENTER – The New England Classic would like to congratulate Bill O’Brien on becoming the Boston College Head Football Coach. He comes from a proud lineage of Boston College graduates and chasmic chin-bearers, sporting a flesh bib that even Jay Leno wants to steal. At O’Brien’s introductory... Read more

Freshman Failing Lit Core Claims Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department” Is “Literally Her”

Campus Culture Freshmen Student Life Uncategorized February 19, 2024

‘Well, Travis obviously inspired a lot on the album. I feel the same inspiration for my Insta stories from my boyfriend, Noah. He was a second string quarterback in high school, so… we get it.’