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Freshman Wondering When It Is Safe To Cross Comm Ave
April 20, 2020
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How to Entertain Yourself During Quarantine (Budget Edition)
April 19, 2020
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Touched By Tragedy: Todd Was Supposed To Be In Barcelona This Weekend
April 9, 2020
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Mom Can’t Believe You Got Kicked From Housing Group, Thought They Were All Very Nice Boys
March 30, 2020
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LTE: Uh, Why Is Molly In My Zoom Class?
March 27, 2020
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LTE: I Am The Tiny Door Into Eagles, And There Is No Escape
March 11, 2020
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Campus Ministry Begins Individually Plastic-Wrapping Communion Wafers
March 10, 2020
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Fuck Yeah: Kid In Your APPA Group Brought Her Dab Pen
March 9, 2020
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Appa Group #24 Placed At Schiller Institute
February 28, 2020
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Report: “Hey, You’ve Got A Little Something On Your–”
February 26, 2020
“Like, this isn’t a fuckin’ corner store,” Purcell said. “You can’t just be walking in here anytime you want, day and night. People live here. I need privacy.”
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ST. ELIZABETH’S HOSPITAL — Following months of intensive consultations, representatives of the Thomas P. O’Neill estate announced on Monday that the famed O’Neill Library Answer Wall, which has been candidly answering anonymous questions since 2017, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. “We were deeply saddened when we received the...
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MCGUINN HALL — In Tuesday’s Globalization II lecture, a 32-oz Hydro Flask officially became the class’s most outspoken participant when it toppled off a desk and hit the ground with a “CLANK!” that echoed throughout the room. The Hydro Flask, belonging to Linda Pound (MCAS ’21), reportedly was the...
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LYONS HALL — Boston College Dining announced Wednesday that the Welch Dining Room, known colloquially by students as “The Rat (Rathskeller)” will begin serving New England Coffee’s new popcorn chicken blend this March. A recent Qualtrics study in the Boston College Class of 2021 Facebook group revealed that the...
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STUART HALL — In a press conference Tuesday morning, “ninth men” across campus announced that they have officially formed a union. The leader of the new union, Sarah Shaughnessy (MCAS ’21), spoke to reporters at the event. “For too long, the folks in the ninth spot in a room...
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February 14th, what a magical night. I bet you had a ton of fun having sex, huh? Bet you really enjoyed yourself. Think it’s so fun to disrespect the Lord? Yeah? Well guess what folks! Fuck time is OVER! That’s right, it’s time to hold hands and share one...
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CLEVELAND CIRCLE — Valentine’s Day has once again snuck up on Boston College boyfriends. The last-minute dash for the perfect gift has flooded the aisles of CVS and the Hillside bookstore with freshmen, seniors, and pizzas. Alyssa Ashbury (LSEHD ’22) told the Classic she usually spends the holiday alone...
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RADNOR ROAD — Sources have confirmed that Colin Egesta (MCAS ’21), who is on the pre-med track and intends to pursue a career as a doctor, doesn’t see anything wrong with the fact that he habitually pees on the toilet seat. Egesta’s housemates told The Classic that, although he...
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Media outlets have a civic responsibility to conform their readers’ minds to their own way of thinking, and this is especially true in elections. With this in mind, The New England Classic endorses Mayor Joseph Fitzgerald O’Malley Fitzpatrick O’Donnell The Edge Quimby (CSOM ’22) and Mayor Adam West (MCAS...
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CONTE FORUM — In a press conference earlier this week, Martin Jarmond announced that Jerry York would be the director of the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean On Ice. The musical, icy adaptation will premiere in the spring in Conte Forum at the conclusion of the hockey season. “I’ve...
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