-
Eaters Rejoice As Women’s Center Now Offers “Cookie Mondays”
September 21, 2026
-
Junior Girl Abroad Takes Pill in Ibiza to Fulfill Cultural Diversity Core
September 17, 2026
Hot
-
Due To Budget Cuts, UMaine Game To Have Gloving Show At Halftime
September 16, 2026
-
10 Things Now Requiring Duo Mobile Authentication
September 15, 2026
-
Econ Major Larps As CSOM Student
September 14, 2026
-
Student With Victim Complex Enrolls In Victimology, Expects An Easy A
September 9, 2026
-
UHS Hands Out Free Cigarettes To Promote Chainsmokers Concert
September 9, 2026
Hot
-
People Have Never Been More Supportive Of My Two-Mile Monday Jog
September 9, 2026
Hot
-
CSOM Student Photographing Cherry Blossoms Will One Day Finance The Amazon’s Deforestation
September 9, 2026
Hot
-
Free The Nipple: Female Students Feel Left Out Of Shirtless Spikeball Fun
September 9, 2026
Hot
STOKES HALL 324S — Late Monday evening, young feminist Natasha Meyer (CSOM ’21) delivered a major blow to the patriarchy by sleeping with her professor to receive a better grade on an exam — without letting him finish. After receiving a failing midterm grade, Meyer wasted no time in...
Read more
STOKES LAWN — 2,500 hot college teens had their way with Boston College’s best piece of grass this weekend at the annual Stokes Set concert. Never before have we seen grass get slammed like this. Hugh Johnson (CSON ‘22) was one of the many students all up in the...
Read more
MEDEIROS HALL C39 — On Wednesday, Richard Holder (MCAS ’22) noticed that his roommate Jack Offner (CSOM ’22) had an abundance of used tissues in the wastebasket beside his bed. Despite the large number of tissues, Offner seems completely free of cold or flu symptoms. “Maybe he’s just crying...
Read more
“I’ve actually been thinking a lot about Jorah, in the books he doesn’t really have greyscale because this guy Jon Connington, who’s been escorting Aegon Targaryen around, gets greyscale, so I’m wondering if he’ll be cured and make it to the end. So, can we get out of here, or do you want to hear my thoughts about The Golden Company and the elephants?”
Read more
MCELROY HALL — This past Friday, as he was strolling down Commonwealth Avenue, Fr. Rob Trogen, S.J. reportedly encountered two students giving out “weird gloves” outside of the McElroy Dining Hall. According to onlookers, Fr. Trogen appeared confused by the students’ helpful-yet-mischievous demeanor. “Why don’t these gloves have any...
Read more
BOSTON COLLEGE CAREER CENTER — Late last Sunday evening, Boston College administrators introduced EagleKink to the student body, a new extension of popular LinkedIn alternative EagleLink. According to sources, this new software acts as a campus-wide social networking site aimed at connecting students with others interested in alternative sexual...
Read more
WALSH HALL — It was reported late Saturday night that Boston College sophomore, Mary Beaufor-Sax, went into labor in a corridor of Walsh Hall. Before she left for school, many of her small-town peers from Nazareth, Pa., were skeptical of what this single, college-aged woman would be able to...
Read more
Tradition is everything here at Boston College. From our beloved Jesuit values to our fan-favorite football chants (Hoo-Hah!), blindly doing things just because someone has done it before is both fun and easy. Of all these traditions, one of the most popular happens to be the annual “Senior Five”...
Read more
By Fr. Sebastian R. Cocksworth, S.J. There’s been a lot of talk around campus lately about “Hookup Culture,” and what its place should be in a modern Catholic university. As a long-serving member of the Jesuit community here at Boston College, I would like to politely remind all our...
Read more
After several years of hard work, research, and intense love-making, The New England Classic is happy to report that one of our reporters was invited to the highly exclusive bi-weekly orgy hosted by the Students for Sexual Health. The following account is entirely factual, but all names and fluids have been removed...
Read more
Copyright © 2019 The New England Classic, Inc.
