Innocent Virgin Grass Gets Pounded By 2,500 Co-Eds
STOKES LAWN — 2,500 hot college teens had their way with Boston College’s best piece of grass this weekend at the annual Stokes Set concert. Never before have we seen grass get slammed like this.
Hugh Johnson (CSON ‘22) was one of the many students all up in the grass. “I’ve never seen clapping like that. I mean, the whole place was hot and sweaty and dirty,” remarked Johnson. “That was the thickest, juiciest, tightest grass I’ve ever pounded. It felt great.”
Students began slow and gentle, but as the tempo of the night got faster, so did the pounding. Many attendees commented on the amount of mud seen in the crowd—an issue that CAB aims to address for future events.
The virgin field was left a bit worse for wear. At press time, CAB could not reached for comment because they were busy planning an orgy.