Blimey! Exchange Student From Liverpool Buzzin’ For Fr. Jack’s “Coronation”
AbroadButlerCampus Culture October 15, 2026 The New England Classic
CONTE FORUM — Passersby may notice a small encampment outside of Conte Forum. Believe it or not, this is not a group of students protesting against global conflict or standing in solidarity with French students. Rather, the dodgy living arrangement is home to a British exchange student who seems to have conflated the terms “inauguration” and “coronation.” This bloke, P. Keith Blynders (FES Fall ’26) can be heard playing “God Save the King” and seen wearing a plastic tiara outside Conte Forum.
To find out more, The New England Classic sent one of its rookie journalists to the scene. “I know it’s a wee silly for a Liverpool bloke like me to love all this royalty shit, but me mums and I just love following the royal family. To be honest, all this coronation buzz reminds me of home,” said Blynders.
Blynders has begun printing T-shirts from his encampment to celebrate the coronation. His screen-printed shirts feature a photo of Fr. Jack, a Union Jack, Baldwin, and beans on toast. Each T-shirt comes with a complimentary crumpet baked in Blynders’ easy bake oven. Blynders even wrote a bloody brilliant poem to celebrate the occasion.
Roses are red
The River Thames is “blue”
The Queen might be dead
But King Butler, I LOVE YOU!
However, not all is chuff at Conte: Boston College Athletics has said it is concerned athletes may go “all American Revolution on his ass.” Apparently members of the men’s hockey and football teams were planning a modern-day version of tarring and feathering, which involves pouring White Monster on Blynders and covering his sticky body in used Zyns.
Even though Blynders is a little fuzzy on some of the details, he has the Eagle spirit. Boston College students ought to bring the same passion and excitement as Blynders. It could be years until another older white Jesuit is made king of Boston College.
