Holidays Archives | Page 2 of 5 | The New England Classic

“We’re Totally Grabbing Lunch Over Break,” Say High School Friends Who Will Definitely Not Be Grabbing Lunch Over Break

Holidays Student Life November 23, 2021

NEEDHAM, MA — As BC students flock home for Thanksgiving, the impending doom of being forced to reunite with highschool acquaintances has led many to adopt tactics of negotiation and diplomacy. Anita Brake (MCAS ‘25), excitedly posted an obligatory “Goodbye Chestnut Hill, hello Needham” boomerang on her story to commemorate... Read more

Athlete Scoots Home For The Holidays Due To Surge In Flight Prices

Holidays WTF November 22, 2021

However, after a stroke of inspiration while scooting to his finance class, Speedster has decided to do what no other Boston College Athlete has done: scoot on home for the holidays. “Yeah I mean this bad boy can get me to Playa Bowls and back, why can’t I scoot to Florida?”

SPOOKY: Chocolate Bar To Hire Ghosts as Seasonal Employees

Holidays Spooky WTF October 29, 2021

STOKES SOUTH — Due to a recent shortage in staffing, Stokes Hall’s beloved Chocolate Bar has been forced to shut down once again. Luckily for cacao- and caffeine-deprived students, BC Dining has announced a plan to dip into the largely unemployed ghost population present at Boston College. When asked about... Read more

SPOOKY! Casper Grew Up, and He’s Anti-Vaxx

Coronavirus Holidays Spooky October 27, 2021

Mr. Ghost began his presentation by calling the Pfizer vaccine “Commy Kool-Aid”, and global lockdowns “nothing more than an attempt to keep old guys like me off the streets.”

Student Who Moved Home Just Now Realizing His Parents Got Divorced

Holidays Student Life December 9, 2020

WESTCHESTER COUNTY, N.Y. — Two full weeks after returning home for the semester, junior Dan Nulment (CSOM ’22) has just now begun to realize that his parents may have ended their marriage at some point in the past three months. “When my mom told me that Dad was ‘quarantining... Read more

Getting Festive: CAB Announces They Have Hidden A Bomb

Campus Culture Holidays December 7, 2020

“If the bomb is found and deactivated successfully, the student responsible will win a free personal training session at the Plex, along with a $20 Flat Breads gift card. If the device is not found, the scale of destruction could be incomprehensible. “

Alarming: Hundreds of Students Would Rather Be In New Jersey

Holidays Student Life November 30, 2020

“At press time, hundreds of New Jerseryan students were queued up at the Newton Center Shell station, waiting for someone else to pump their gas.”

BC Dining Unveils Thanksgiving Menu — “It’s Just Rice.”

Campus Culture Holidays November 27, 2020

Much like this year’s forbidden Thanksgiving gatherings nationwide, dinner on The Heights will be bland, tough to swallow, and overwhelmingly white.

Five Things to Convert Your Friend’s Room Into After They Leave for Break

Campus Culture Holidays November 16, 2020

The number one request of all Boston College students from 2005-2019 has been more meat lockers available to undergrads.

Six Polite Ways To Get Your Roommates To Stop Listening To Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving

Campus Culture Holidays November 10, 2020

“Have your roommates already started listening to Christmas music? If you answered ‘yes’ or ‘possibly’ or ‘I CANNOT THINK STRAIGHT ENOUGH TO READ THIS BECAUSE THAT CATCHY SNOWMISER/HEATMISER SONG FROM The Year Without a Santa Claus IS ALREADY STUCK IN MY HEAD,’ we have you covered with six polite ways to get your roommates to stop playing Christmas music so early.”