Holidays Archives | Page 3 of 6 | The New England Classic

SPOOKY! Casper Grew Up, and He’s Anti-Vaxx

Coronavirus Holidays Spooky October 27, 2021

Mr. Ghost began his presentation by calling the Pfizer vaccine “Commy Kool-Aid”, and global lockdowns “nothing more than an attempt to keep old guys like me off the streets.”

Student Who Moved Home Just Now Realizing His Parents Got Divorced

Holidays Student Life December 9, 2020

WESTCHESTER COUNTY, N.Y. — Two full weeks after returning home for the semester, junior Dan Nulment (CSOM ’22) has just now begun to realize that his parents may have ended their marriage at some point in the past three months. “When my mom told me that Dad was ‘quarantining... Read more

Getting Festive: CAB Announces They Have Hidden A Bomb

Campus Culture Holidays December 7, 2020

“If the bomb is found and deactivated successfully, the student responsible will win a free personal training session at the Plex, along with a $20 Flat Breads gift card. If the device is not found, the scale of destruction could be incomprehensible. “

Alarming: Hundreds of Students Would Rather Be In New Jersey

Holidays Student Life November 30, 2020

“At press time, hundreds of New Jerseryan students were queued up at the Newton Center Shell station, waiting for someone else to pump their gas.”

BC Dining Unveils Thanksgiving Menu — “It’s Just Rice.”

Campus Culture Holidays November 27, 2020

Much like this year’s forbidden Thanksgiving gatherings nationwide, dinner on The Heights will be bland, tough to swallow, and overwhelmingly white.

Five Things to Convert Your Friend’s Room Into After They Leave for Break

Campus Culture Holidays November 16, 2020

The number one request of all Boston College students from 2005-2019 has been more meat lockers available to undergrads.

Six Polite Ways To Get Your Roommates To Stop Listening To Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving

Campus Culture Holidays November 10, 2020

“Have your roommates already started listening to Christmas music? If you answered ‘yes’ or ‘possibly’ or ‘I CANNOT THINK STRAIGHT ENOUGH TO READ THIS BECAUSE THAT CATCHY SNOWMISER/HEATMISER SONG FROM The Year Without a Santa Claus IS ALREADY STUCK IN MY HEAD,’ we have you covered with six polite ways to get your roommates to stop playing Christmas music so early.”

Spooky: Roommate Seriously Considering Sexy RBG Costume

Campus Culture Holidays Spooky October 30, 2020

WALSH HALL — Recent reports from multiple Walsh residents have confirmed that local roommate and VSCO girl Sarah Sleshinger was seriously considering a “sexy RBG” costume for this Halloween. The costume, consisting of only the little white collar-thing and a gavel in the shape of a penis, was purchased... Read more

Bapst Library Unveiled As A Spirit Halloween Store Following Renovation

Holidays Spooky October 20, 2020

LINDEN LANE — After months of ongoing construction, scaffolding was finally removed from the façade of the Bapst Library early this week, revealing that the library is now home to a Spirit Halloween store. The store’s arrival marked the official kickoff to Spooky Season for residents on the Heights.... Read more

“Don’t Travel During Columbus Day Weekend” Say Lochhead, Comeau From Helm Of The “Pinta”

Holidays WTF October 12, 2020

“Executive Vice President Michael Lochhead and Director of University Health Services Dr. Douglas Comeau were spotted by a source close to The Classic Early Monday morning, steering a replica version of Christopher Columbus’s Pinto on some sort of homage reenactment in the Caribbean Sea.”