Strategic Genius: Boyfriend Utilizes Body Double to Deke Valentine’s Day Responsibilities
Walsh Hall– With the 69th annual Beanpot Finals being scheduled for Valentine’s Day, many couples have found themselves in a bit of a slippery situation. With one member of the couple wanting to go to the game and the other wanting to go out for a nice date, Valentine’s Day has become much more complicated to plan than in years past.
The Classic spoke to Anders Släpjshott (MCAS ’22) about his perfect plan to make his girlfriend happy and still watch BC lose the third-place spot by 5 goals.
“I knew this day would come,” Släpjshott said. “So I’ve been preparing for this very moment. I’ve never told her about this, but I have an identical twin who goes to Suffolk University. Since he doesn’t have anything better to do, he’ll be the one forced to sit through Valentine’s Day dinner at the Dorchester Applebee’s while I’m watching Jerry York struggle to make it through one more year.”
“While my girlfriend is busy taking in the decor and the Applebee’s® 3-Course Meal Deal for $11.99 – Limited Time!, she won’t have time to notice that Fländers is just a little bit taller than me and mainly speaks Norwegian.
“I’ve provided Fländers’s with a wire and earpiece so I can feed him lines as well as a script of important notes for conversation, such as my pet names for my girlfriend. (“My little Bardownski”, “2011 Stanley Cup Finals game 7”) I’ve also told Fländers to make sure he compliments her lettuce, as she always puts it in a lovely updo for a night at the Bee’s.”
At press time, Släpjshotte was seen purchasing a full-size replica of the 3-foot tall 37-pound trophy awarded to the 2011 Stanley Cup champion Bruins as a gift for his beloved.