WTF Archives | Page 2 of 5 | The New England Classic

What The Fuck: Roommate Just Took The Lord’s Name In Vain

Freshmen Student Life WTF February 8, 2021

“I honestly couldn’t believe it,” said Arist. “I mean sure, I may have instigated it by calling him a fat-ass mistake of a human being, but like taking the Lord’s name in vain? That’s just too fucking far, man.”

Going Baby On Baby? Nursing Student Helps Deliver Twins

School Service Student Life WTF February 3, 2021

LONGWOOD MEDICAL AREA — Anna Dababski (CSON ’22), a junior on clinical rotation with the OB/GYN department of Brigham and Women’s Hospital, played a crucial role last Thursday in aiding a mother through the birth of her first born baby. As it turned out, however, there was another one... Read more

COVID Cases Spike After UGBC Distributes Identical Water Bottles

Coronavirus Student Life WTF February 2, 2021

CONTE FORUM — Following students’ return to campus for the Spring 2021 semester, the Undergraduate Government of Boston College came under fire this week with the recent spike in undergraduate COVID-19 cases becoming increasingly linked to the governing body’s mass distribution of identical water bottles. In what many are... Read more

OIP Announces New External Program With Galactic Federation

Abroad WTF December 11, 2020

“Not once in four millennia have we encountered a species whose diet consists entirely of carbohydrates and fermented grains, and yet is capable of such emotional overstimulation.”

The Stress Of The Season: My Dentist Took Like 9 Ritalins And Removed All Of My Teeth

WTF December 8, 2020

Dr. Lee did not seem particularly remorseful. In fact, she seemed kind of impressed with her own work.

Computer Science Department Hires Actual Python To Teach Classes

School WTF December 1, 2020

Amid a chronic shortage of professors in the computer science department at BC, CS majors finally have a reason to rejoice: the department now has an actual living python as a faculty member to teach introductory classes on Python! No one is quite sure about where the python came... Read more

Red Bandana Game Canceled Amid Covid Concerns; BC Schedules Two 9/11s For 2021

Campus Culture Leahy WTF November 14, 2020

“To create a more equitable situation, as well as make up for lost revenue, BC will simply schedule two 9/11s for the 2021/22 football season.

Anti-Matter “Dark Leahy” Emerges From Project Lucidity, Loudly Denounces Racism

Leahy WTF November 9, 2020

“I AM LLIB YHAEL, ARBITER OF JUSTICE,” screamed the otherworldly abomination. “MY GUNS DISPERSE JUDGEMENT, MY SWORD CLEAVES IGNORANCE IN TWAIN!”

Welles Crowther 5K To Be Held Over Wii Fit

Coronavirus Service WTF October 16, 2020

The run’s organizers are also taking aggressive steps to prevent runners from simply shaking the Wiimote up and down. All participants are required to install Proctorio, the test-proctoring software, onto the Wii that they will be using, which will track their movements using the Wii’s sensor bar.

“Don’t Travel During Columbus Day Weekend” Say Lochhead, Comeau From Helm Of The “Pinta”

Holidays WTF October 12, 2020

“Executive Vice President Michael Lochhead and Director of University Health Services Dr. Douglas Comeau were spotted by a source close to The Classic Early Monday morning, steering a replica version of Christopher Columbus’s Pinto on some sort of homage reenactment in the Caribbean Sea.”