After Beanpot Loss, Will Smith Now Only Says He “Went to School in Boston”

SAN JOSE — On Wednesday morning, another day with the potential for mediocre and poorly attended NHL hockey began. San Jose Shark rookies Will Smith (MCAS ‘27) and Macklin Celebrini (BU ‘27) woke up from their bunk beds and took their matching longboards to the beach for a relaxing morning in the California sun. Having just returned from attending the Beanpot championship, tensions were high between the rivals turned teammates.

As the boys lounged and tanned their Canadian and New England skin, two girls approached the Cali teens to make small talk. The girls introduced themselves as Puck Bunny #1 and Puck Bunny #2 and said they went to UC-Berkeley.

As is customary for Celebrini, he replied only that he “went to school in Boston,” embarrassed to be associated with a school that worships a small Confederate furry.

Shockingly, Smith, too, replied, “I also went to school in Boston too, but I dropped out! But it’s not the same school as Macklin!” seemingly embarrassed to associate himself with the biggest Beanpot chokers of the last decade and the dumbassery of a student section that held up a “BC SUCKS” flag.

With Smith no longer claiming an alma mater, local schools have made their own claims to the Fresh Prince of the Greater Boston Area. Tufts tells The Classic that Smith went straight from Division III to the NHL. Northeastern student Cam Eunist claimed that “Smith was on my co-op, AND we did our first semester together in Moscow.” Harvard sent The Classic a leatherbound tome, but no writer could read the hockey records written entirely in Latin. Even Wellesley College contributed to the debate, citing its field hockey star Wilma Smith.

However, the strongest case to claim the unmoored player came later, when Smith and Celebrini both arrived at their home game with Boston University red jerseys thrown over their suits. As the hand-holding couple walked by the media, Celebrini shouted “Beanpot 2025 champions!” to a star struck social media manager. As the boys rounded the corner, sources say that on the back of Smith’s jersey was a very visible piece of duct tape covering up the Celebrini name. The tape reportedly read: Fresh Prince of Brookline.

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