As DEI Initiatives Unravel, BC Adds More Stairs
Big IssuesSchoolWTF February 7, 2025 The New England Classic
UPPER CAMPUS – In just the first few weeks of his presidency, Donald Trump has made it abundantly clear: inclusion is not fair! To follow suit, Boston College’s administration is determined to repeal DEI initiatives to the tune of “freedom” and “now we’re finally allowed to be Christian again.” Thus, Richard “Dick” Wahd, chair of the Center for Student Exclusion, proposed a massive construction proposal for Upper Campus: more stairs.
“When the University proposed adding girls in the 70s, I acquiesced,” claims Dick Wahd, “but this time, we’re not backing down!”
Wahd, among others, is incredibly passionate about this endeavor despite the potential backlash from students. In efforts to quell these concerns, administrators confirm that, yes, the new Upper stairs will be heated and, no, they will not be painting them rainbow.
“These stairs will reach higher than the heights themselves,” Dr. Nomoore Ramps adds, “and we’ll just keep building and building until we reach the heavens! What could possibly go wrong?”
Student reactions to this new project were quite surprising, as some rallied in support of the initiative. “I’m just so so excited,” shared Dottie Smooney (MCAS ’25), “because there’s like a lot more places we can take grad pics now.”
“When there were ramps and stuff, it was such a challenge,” recalled Meath Ed (CSOM ’27), “it doesn’t really make sense how they work. Like how do I go up when there’s not a platform for me to step on?” When informed that ramps have an incline, Ed responded with “Well how do you get down?”
For at least the next four years, this construction project will have a major impact on BC’s campus and may even become a Gasson-like staple of the Heights. But for now, administrators have their hands tied as they continue their search for skilled laborers.
