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Jesuits Mandate White Tank Tops And Lots Of Water for Mudstock
April 30, 2025
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Marathon Runner Revived By Pink Whitney Nip
April 21, 2025
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LTE: Jesus Ascended? I Thought That Was Girls-Only?
April 20, 2025
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Barack Obama Added As Introductory Commencement Speaker
April 16, 2025
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Man Cooks Up ALC Showdown Parlay Following Tragic March Madness Bracket Loss
April 11, 2025
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Rising Senior Suspiciously, Concerningly, Creepily Excited To Take Freshman Courses
April 10, 2025
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Pro-Life Club Sponsors Baby Petting Zoo
April 9, 2025
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10 Tariffs To Be Enacted Over The Next Month
April 8, 2025
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Phew! Pre-Med Man Has Some Advice For Your Period Cramps!
April 7, 2025
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Male Feminist Really Wants To Fu-Focus On BC WLAX
April 4, 2025
WALL STREET — NASDAQ will headline this year’s Modstocks, the Campus Activities Board (CAB) announced Tuesday. Dow Jones, 2019 Battle of the Bonds winner, will open for the annual spring trading event. Last year’s headliner, the S&P 500, faced controversy after the index was found to support flat earth...
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“I’ve actually been thinking a lot about Jorah, in the books he doesn’t really have greyscale because this guy Jon Connington, who’s been escorting Aegon Targaryen around, gets greyscale, so I’m wondering if he’ll be cured and make it to the end. So, can we get out of here, or do you want to hear my thoughts about The Golden Company and the elephants?”
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GABELLI PLAZA — British student Elizabeth Queen (MCAS ’22) caused mayhem on the Million Dollar Stairs on Wednesday when she used the left side of the stairs to ascend the incline. “Blokes do everything so different on this side of the pond,” said Queen. “So it’s parky out and...
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CLEVELAND CIRCLE — Local samaritan Katie Rollhouse (LSOE ’21) posted an offer on the Official Boston College Class of 2021 Facebook group to pick up any items people might need from CVS. Since being published, the post has received a staggering number of “wow” and “angry” reacts — along...
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“It was, like, so dark in there. I accidentally mixed my vodka with milk.”
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“It was never our intention to invoke a sense of Catholicism in any way, shape, or form,” one administrator admitted in a later memo.
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NEWTON CAMPUS — In the basement of Keyes South, seven plague survivors have barricaded themselves in the basement study lounge for the past nine days. In an interview conducted via hushed FaceTime call, one of the students, Sophie Kelly (CSOM ’22), admitted that she and her companion are getting...
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CHESTNUT HILL — Tension on campus has been palpable this week as the student body prepares for yet another heated UGBC election. After an intense series of debates, knocking on doors, and making Facebook profile picture frames, Thursday’s election will determine just which candidate will have the distinct honor...
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Historically, Boston College has refrained from using “weighted” words such as “racist,” “hate-crime,” and “responsible,” but Sunday’s summit faced that language head-on, aiming to exonerate its attendees of any reason to associate the phrases with themselves.
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CLEVELAND CIRCLE — A deal struck among the owners of Boston College’s favorite dive bar will allow Mary Ann’s to reopen its doors, but only for three weeks. Mary Ann’s, also known as MA’s (also ALSO known as Mary Ann’s Family Style Italian Restaurant), shuttered its doors last month...
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