Uh Oh! The Professor Whose Class You’re Failing Sat Next to You in the Sauna!
Big IssuesWTF October 7, 2024
“But then–lurking from the shadows, my financial accounting professor [Bill Incesheet (CSOM ‘88)] situated his half-naked ass next to me, fresh off a cold call in class, to which I responded with a stuttered mumble and some lightly shat pants.”
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Freshman Submits First Paper In Comic Sans, Claiming It Adds Character
Big IssuesFreshmenWTF October 2, 2024
“Each font has a different story, and that’s, like, so cool. I just love the visual artistry of it all,” said Turner, who left her entire paper formatted in a single paragraph.
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Classmate With Red Bandana On Backpack Wouldn’t Even Hold The Door For You
Big IssuesCampus CultureSports September 19, 2024
“Most of those who tie a bandana to their backpack honor Welles’ heroic legacy. However, some students who do it can’t remember their last act of service for anybody other than themselves.”
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BC Ranked 189th In Free Speech: 10 Things You Can Now Say
Big IssuesFeatured September 17, 2024
BC is a free speech friendly campus! Boston College was recently ranked 189th out of 257 colleges and universities for free speech on campus. BC is proud to be ranked above universities such as Gulag State and Censorship Polytechnic.
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Gassy Gasson Renovations, Bells Ring When Someone Passes Gas
Big IssuesCampus CultureWTF September 16, 2024
Originally set for every quarter of the hour, the bells now ring every time someone passes gas. Even worse, an announcement echoes throughout the halls, sharing the name of who dealt it with the entire campus.
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Uh Oh! Someone Just Mentioned Taylor Swift Around A 5’5” Man Who Loves Football
Big IssuesSports February 13, 2024
BREAKING: Part Two of THE PATH Revealed
Big IssuesCampus CultureDrinking November 10, 2023
Sure, you might have seen the first page of #THEPATH, which includes things like the Eagles having to win out the league and Virginia having to beat Louisville in the games this weekend, but little did readers know that there was an entire second side of #THEPATH.
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BC’s Legal Lineup: Predictions for Who’s Diving into the Swim & Dive Legal Battle
Big IssuesCampus CultureSex October 21, 2023
After getting a team suspension due to hazing, BC Swim & Dive is lawyered up and ready for action. As BC prepares to defend itself, the Classic has acquired a leaked list of finalists for Boston College’s representatives in the legal battle with Swim & Dive.
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BC Alcohol Compliance Officer Ranked First in Jobs That Will Definitely Get You Laid
Big IssuesCampus CultureDrinkingSex October 18, 2023
U.S. News posted the rankings this past week with The New England Classic Staff Writer and Monster Truck Driver coming in positions two and three, respectively. Both of those positions pull more sexual partners than all other jobs with the exception of Alcohol Compliance Officer.
Read moreThe 10-Year Plan now calls for BC to level the Mods and build eight more Carneys in their place.
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