Freshman Submits First Paper In Comic Sans, Claiming It Adds Character
Big IssuesFreshmenWTF October 2, 2024 The New England Classic
STOKES NORTH — The joys of Welcome Week are long gone for the Class of 2028. As leaves begin to fall in Chestnut Hill and classes are ramping up, freshmen reminisce on the easy living days of the Ice Cream Social and the hypnotist. For Paige Turner (MCAS ‘28), First-Year writing Seminar (FYWS) has proven to be extremely difficult.
Not only could Turner not understand her professor due to his mild midwest accent, she also couldn’t understand why he gave her a poor grade after writing in first person.
“I think Nick uses ‘I’ to emphasize his struggle, so I used ‘I’ to emphasize my struggle writing my paper,” said Turner.
The professor left a comment telling Turner that before she gets all meta with her papers for FYWS, she needs to review what constitutes an independent clause. While Turner does not enjoy proofreading her papers, she loves checking out the different fonts Google Docs has to offer.
“Each font has a different story, and that’s, like, so cool. I just love the visual artistry of it all,” said Turner, who left her entire paper formatted in a single paragraph.
For her BC writing debut, Turner opted for Comic Sans, claiming that the fun-loving feel of the font provides character and excitement that The Great Gatsby lacks.
The professor called Turner’s font and lack of proper citations “unprofessional.” The final page bibliography of the untitled Google Doc included an unedited link to Sparknotes and the GIF of Leonardo DiCaprio raising his glass in front of a spectacle of fireworks.
At press time, like the strong student she is, Turner was seen attending office hours 45 minutes before her final paper was due. Unfortunately, Turner failed to copy and paste her Chat GPT-produced essay before asking her professor to evaluate her thesis.