Dad Brings Girlfriend to Parents Weekend Instead of Mom

KEYES SOUTH – Freshman Dale Huff (MCAS ‘25) was in for quite a surprise today when his dad brought his new girlfriend to parents weekend instead of his mother.

William Huff, Dale’s father, decided that the best way to tell his son would be letting them meet over a family dinner at Capital Grille. As Dale quickly found out, the new woman was a 24-year-old model-influencer named Kimberly.

“I didn’t even know my parents had split up. I mean, I haven’t even been gone for a month,” bemoaned Dale, clearly bothered by the whole situation. “But I guess it explains him mentioning his ‘new flame’ and ‘adjustments’ at home when we’ve been on the phone – I just assumed he had started taking Viagra or something.”

William was more than willing to discuss the situation with The Classic: “Dale’s mother and I lost our spark a long time ago, but neither of us liked him enough to want sole custody. With him at school, we decided it was a good time to make the change, and now I have a hot piece of ass up here with me.”

At press time, the pair was seen explaining to a distressed Dale that it’s okay for him to start calling her “Mom.”

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