Woah! Helicopter!
Campus CultureStudent Life October 5, 2020
Cardboard Cutouts File Out Of Alumni At Halftime
CoronavirusSportsStudent Life September 28, 2020
“If I can contribute to the team by giving them the familiar sense of an empty stadium at halftime, regardless of the score, just so we can all go home and do literally nothing, well I’m happy to do it.”
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7% Tuition Increase Used to Give CSOM Students Special Snacks
Student LifeWTF September 22, 2020
“With enough preparation, they should be able eat like grown-ups by the time they make it to the break room at Goldman Sachs.”
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Joy Moore Releases New Statement Blaming You, Specifically
CoronavirusStudent Life September 21, 2020
“There’s one person at fault here. It’s not me, it’s not the administration, it’s just one person,” she told us, referring to You.
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Top Ten Campus Spots To Cover Your Little Head And Submit To The Infinite Sadness
SchoolStudent Life September 15, 2020
University Welcomes “Most Diverse Class Ever” With White Guy From New Jersey
FreshmenStudent Life September 10, 2020
“Look, his mumbling is bad enough as it is,” noted Rosalita Clemens (MCAS ‘24). “But on a Zoom call, with all of CLXF trying to blast “Born In The USA” at the same time, the poor dude didn’t have a chance.”
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University Confirms Nicotine Patches To Be Sold At Concessions
Campus CultureCoronavirusStudent Life July 20, 2020
Mom Can’t Believe You Got Kicked From Housing Group, Thought They Were All Very Nice Boys
CoronavirusStudent Life March 30, 2020
Kelly went on to describe the situation as “fucked,” a comment which Mrs. Kelly disapproved of as she “did not raise [him] to use that language.”
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LTE: Uh, Why Is Molly In My Zoom Class?
CoronavirusStudent Life March 27, 2020
