I lifted my head to the ceiling, praying to whoever was listening to bring my baby back to me. And then, as if God himself heard my plea, I saw him floating across the student section.
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“God whispered the idea to me during my mid-afternoon Examen; the best way to overcome our rivals is to become them, so we are bringing the prison experiment to Chestnut Hill,” said Fr. Leahy.
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Freshman Furry Excited For TAILgate
FreshmenSportsStudent Life August 29, 2025
With BC’s first football game of the season incoming, hundreds of freshmen prepare to blackout by 11 A.M. in front of their friends’ grandparents at a tailgate they weren’t even formally invited to. One freshman, Cain Ine (MCAS ‘29), is particularly thrilled at the prospect of a whole college ritual based on wearing tails and embracing that dog in us.
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Within this crowd of students who are making a full switch from supporting hockey to lacrosse, is one lonely guy who really just wants to fuck: Matt Riarchy (CSOM ‘26).
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Circle Tavern Installs Bright Lights, Hockey Team Fails to Show Up
Campus CultureDrinkingSports April 1, 2025
“Ah, y’know, umm, when we were performing in that forgiving, low-stakes environment, y’know it’s just an all-out assault on the [bar-]tendy, throwing a lot of [Jägermeister] shots back,” said another player who could never finish his shots. “But now that they installed the bright lights, that high-pressure environment just became too much for us.”
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Guy Spent 5 Hours On Bracket But 20 Minutes on Group Project
Campus CultureSportsStudent Life March 24, 2025
His slides consisted of him ranking freshmen in Gonzaga and Xavier by height because he thought they were playing in the tournament.
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Shockingly, Smith, too, replied, “I also went to school in Boston too, but I dropped out! But it’s not the same school as Macklin!” seemingly embarrassed to associate himself with the biggest Beanpot chokers of the last decade and the dumbassery of a student section that held up a “BC SUCKS” flag.
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The New England Classic is here to dispel the rumor that BU is infested with quintuple COVID-boosted, Judith Butler-loving liberals like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In fact, Boston University is a well-known right-wing safe haven in higher education.
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Countless messages in the class of 2025 group me indicate that an “unc” ticket is the hottest one on the market.
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When Purter called the school’s athletics office to confirm tonight’s lines, he was met with an answering machine looking for inquiries into the disappearance of D.B. Cooper.
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