Within this crowd of students who are making a full switch from supporting hockey to lacrosse, is one lonely guy who really just wants to fuck: Matt Riarchy (CSOM ‘26).
Read more
Circle Tavern Installs Bright Lights, Hockey Team Fails to Show Up
Campus CultureDrinkingSports April 1, 2025
“Ah, y’know, umm, when we were performing in that forgiving, low-stakes environment, y’know it’s just an all-out assault on the [bar-]tendy, throwing a lot of [Jägermeister] shots back,” said another player who could never finish his shots. “But now that they installed the bright lights, that high-pressure environment just became too much for us.”
Read more
Guy Spent 5 Hours On Bracket But 20 Minutes on Group Project
Campus CultureSportsStudent Life March 24, 2025
His slides consisted of him ranking freshmen in Gonzaga and Xavier by height because he thought they were playing in the tournament.
Read more
Shockingly, Smith, too, replied, “I also went to school in Boston too, but I dropped out! But it’s not the same school as Macklin!” seemingly embarrassed to associate himself with the biggest Beanpot chokers of the last decade and the dumbassery of a student section that held up a “BC SUCKS” flag.
Read more
The New England Classic is here to dispel the rumor that BU is infested with quintuple COVID-boosted, Judith Butler-loving liberals like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In fact, Boston University is a well-known right-wing safe haven in higher education.
Read more
Countless messages in the class of 2025 group me indicate that an “unc” ticket is the hottest one on the market.
Read more
When Purter called the school’s athletics office to confirm tonight’s lines, he was met with an answering machine looking for inquiries into the disappearance of D.B. Cooper.
Read more
Classics Department Thrilled For Battle Against Spartans
Campus CultureSports September 20, 2024
Classmate With Red Bandana On Backpack Wouldn’t Even Hold The Door For You
Big IssuesCampus CultureSports September 19, 2024
“Most of those who tie a bandana to their backpack honor Welles’ heroic legacy. However, some students who do it can’t remember their last act of service for anybody other than themselves.”
Read more
#BOB ERA: Young Women Have Never Been Closer To Their Fathers
SportsStudent Life September 13, 2024
“‘My dad, like, literally never responded to a single one of my texts when I was auditioning for a capella, then BOOM! BC upsets FSU and he’s calling me daily'”
Read more