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Troy Bolton? Fowler Forced To Choose Between Love For Tap Dancing And Hockey
April 11, 2024
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Slimers Stuns at Green Careers Night
April 10, 2024
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LTE From The Moon Club President
April 8, 2024
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Barrel of Oil To Replace Baldwin As BC Mascot
April 6, 2024
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Leahy Announces Complete Deforestation Of Newton Woods To Prevent Lame Parties
April 4, 2024
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BC Raises Cost Of Attendance To 88k, Fifty Cattle, Pound Of Gold, Firstborn Son
April 3, 2024
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Will Smith’s Hat-trick Attributed To Teammate Ambrosio’s Hat Tricks
March 26, 2024
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Thank God! My Acapella Roommate Is On Vocal Rest This Weekend
March 21, 2024
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Professors Replaced By Kiosks
March 20, 2024
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LTE: I’m T-pain, You Know Me–T-Pain Wrote This Article
March 19, 2024
“This was the first message between the two in four months, save for a Washington Examiner article about college students joining “Marxist organizations” in which McGuinness had tagged his niece.”
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“If I can contribute to the team by giving them the familiar sense of an empty stadium at halftime, regardless of the score, just so we can all go home and do literally nothing, well I’m happy to do it.”
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CONTE FORUM — In a press conference earlier this week, Martin Jarmond announced that Jerry York would be the director of the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean On Ice. The musical, icy adaptation will premiere in the spring in Conte Forum at the conclusion of the hockey season. “I’ve...
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Like what you see? Get yer fixin’ with our Spring Print Edition, coming to a silent library near you!
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YAWKEY ATHLETIC CENTER — In the wake of Florida State University head football coach Willie Taggert’s firing last week, speculation has swirled about who the program will bring in to replace him. The New England Classic can now confidently report that current Boston College head football coach, Steve Addazio,...
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YAWKEY ATHLETIC CENTER — Boston College head football coach Steve Addazio was reportedly seen crying late Saturday night outside the Yawkey Athletic Center after a mistaken passerby complimented the head coach on his “spot-on Mr. Potato Head costume,” despite the fact he was not wearing one. “I can’t believe...
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McELROY COMMONS — Capitalizing on the success of the Martin Jarmond clothing collection, the Boston College Bookstore unveiled its new “Jerry York Coffins” earlier this week. When asked for comment, Bookstore officials said the move was a no-brainer. “We know what the BC community wants,” said Bookstore manager William...
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ALUMNI FIELD — Underage sophomore Harry “Heavyweight” Holmes had his entire weekend made when his cool father agreed to share a sip of his beer with him at the game on Saturday. After tailgating in the Robsham parking lot, where eyewitnesses claim they saw Heavyweight sneaking some drinks behind...
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The test results also showed trace amounts of falcon and beagle. BC students reported feeling “shocked”, “upset”, and “aroused.”
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ALUMNI STADIUM MEDIA ROOM — It was reported early Saturday morning that members of the Boston College maintenance crew have begun work to patch up the Steve Addazio-sized hole in the wall of the Alumni Stadium media room following the head coach’s post-game press conference at the conclusion of...
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