January 6 Pardonees Excited to Fill BU Student Section
BostonSports January 24, 2025 The New England Classic
COMMONWEALTH AVENUE — The BU student section at Friday’s Green Line Rivalry will be different. It won’t be the same one that sat down for the entirety of last year’s #1 vs #2 matchup. It won’t be the same one that was 1/10th the size of the BC section at the Hockey East Tournament.
This new Dog Pound will be filled with riotous American patriots energized by their new status as free men and women. Thanks to Donald Trump’s recent pardoning of January 6th insurrectionists, Agganis Arena will once again be filled with Proud Boys and Girls ready to storm the ice.
The New England Classic is here to dispel the rumor that BU is infested with quintuple COVID-boosted, Judith Butler-loving liberals like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In fact, Boston University is a well-known right-wing safe haven in higher education. On Friday night, Agganis Arena will be overrun by domestic terrorists chanting, “Hang Greg Brown!”
BU is expected to honor the student insurrectionists’ homecoming at puck drop by starting five right-wingers.
Iwas N.T. Thayer (BU ’26), who was sentenced to 25 years in prison for spraypainting “BC, Your Going Down” on the Capitol, will attend the Friday and Saturday matchups.
Thayer said that on Saturday, he will march down Commonwealth Avenue to watch his Terriers play “on a real campus.” Thayer reported he is most excited to finally enter “The House that Earl Grant Built.” Grant, of course, is a fellow domestic terrorist.
“When I was raiding Nancy Pelosi’s desk looking for new offensive schemes, I was proud of the fight that my guys showed,” said Grant, whose January 6 paramilitary group was ranked #219 in KenPom. “We’re gonna keep building with the support of guys like Thayer.”
Eagles fans, brace yourselves. The Dog Pound will be loud, and they are bringing their pitchforks.
