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Tour Guide Claims Gasson Tallest Building On East Coast

Student Life April 10, 2017

MIDDLE CAMPUS — Stretching the truth for the fifteenth time during the short tour of campus, Student Admission Program tour guide Maxine Alturn (MCAS ’18) claimed that Gasson Hall, with its 200 foot bell tower, was the tallest building on the East Coast. Stating the boldface lie with calm... Read more

Welcome To Another Episode Of Pimp My UIS!

Old Articles November 16, 2016

Welcome to another episode of Pimp My UIS! I’m your host, world-renowned Catholic rapper ever2Xcel, and today we’ve got a university information system that is in serious need of an upgrade! Johnny Manzo is a junior in the Lynch School here at Boston College, and he’s been registering for courses for years... Read more

Addazio Hospitalized After Accidentally Ingesting Four Tide Pods, Will Miss Syracuse Game

Addazio Old Articles October 21, 2016

ST. ELIZABETH’S MEDICAL CENTER — At 11:36pm on Thursday evening, Boston College EMS received an emergency call notifying them of an unconscious man on the floor of the Walsh laundry room. Upon their arrival to the laundry room, the volunteer EMTs quickly identified the man as Steve Addazio, head... Read more

With Wagner Game Tomorrow, Addazio Looking To Relive Glory Days As High School Bully

Addazio Old Articles Sports September 23, 2016

STATEN ISLAND, NY — As Boston College’s first home approaches tomorrow afternoon, no one is more eager for kickoff than the Eagles’ head coach Steve Addazio, Farmington High’s premiere bully from 1973-1977. After suffering what can only be described as a total embarrassment last week in a 49-0 loss to Virginia... Read more

Leahy Attends Student Involvement Fair: ‘This Is The Semester I Put Myself Out There’

Freshmen Jesuits Leahy Old Articles September 2, 2016

It’s never too late to get involved!

BC Orientation Takes New, More Realistic Approach

Freshmen Student Life June 26, 2016

“We’ve redesigned Orientation to prepare students for the numerous disappointments that they inevitably will be forced to deal with by the end of their first semester.”

2150 Earnestly Hoping To Be Named After Old, Rich Donor Or Jesuit

Jesuits Student Life May 10, 2016

COMM AVE — With summer quickly approaching and the fall semester on deck, the final touches are being put on Boston College RA’s newest hunting ground: the 2150 Commonwealth Avenue Residence Hall. Among other things, the state-of-the-art dormitory will feature a coffee bar, multiple bathrooms per suite, and terrific... Read more

Temporary Outage in Gasson Lighting Causes BC to Plummet in College Rankings

School April 24, 2016

LINDEN LANE —In an unexpected turn of events, U.S. News & World Report announced that Boston College has dropped 16 spots in its highly-regarded ranking of national universities. Although the Washington D.C.-based news outlet typically updates its list only once a year in September, U.S. News spokesperson Darby Trary... Read more

BC Athletics Downgrades ‘SuperFans’ to ‘OkayFans’

Sports Student Life April 21, 2016

Consistent mediocrity appears to be SuperFan’s kryptonite.

Senior Completes Arduous Marathon Monday Drinking Training Regimen

Holidays Old Articles Student Life April 12, 2016

Tout predicts that the hardest stretch of his Monday afternoon will occur roughly around 20 beers into the drinking marathon, which is widely referred to as the infamous “Heart Failure Hill.”