WALSH HALL — Late Saturday night, Chris Naughton (CSOM ’21), of Walsh 705, learned that one of his close acquaintances and frequenters of his “lit” Walsh pre-games was a resident of Roncalli Hall on College Road. Upon discovering this, Naughton expressed his pity and told Mike DiGiacomo (MCAS ’21)... Read more

WALSH HALL — Local student Brad Jones (MCAS ‘21) issued a general warning to his roommates today: don’t swear in front of his mom and dad, or else they’ll yell at him later. This announcement comes after last Wednesday’s revelation that the Jones family would be taking the entire... Read more

HIGGINS HALL — A group of biology majors were recently found lying face down in the lawn surrounding the Saint Ignatius statue. Seen screaming into the grass awaiting the sweet release of death, the students had reportedly just taken their first organic chemistry exam. Similar to decomposing leaves in... Read more

90 ST. THOMAS MORE ROAD — The fire drill that occurred Tuesday evening began normally, as disheveled students shuffled outside while emergency vehicles appeared on-site to check rooms. The night took an interesting twist, however, when Resident Director Ted Michaels reportedly ripped off his clothes and tore down the... Read more

TRENTON, N.J. — Fulfilling a campaign promise to provide greater educational opportunities for the people of his state, New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy announced on Tuesday that Boston College would officially be recognized as a state school of New Jersey. “It’s something that we’ve been mulling over for a... Read more

DEVLIN BATHROOM — With the rise of e-cigarettes among young adults and children, the Food and Drug Administration plans to instate a ban against e-nicotine products, most notably Juuls. Boston College has responded to this looming ban by announcing its own plan to protect its Juul Citizens: the administration has... Read more

CORCORAN COMMONS — In a shocking development late Sunday evening, vegans and carnivores alike found themselves united under a radical new idea: the Grateful Burger is fucking gross. The new addition to the Chestnut Hill Grill contains only 50% beef, with the other 50% being a mix of vegetables... Read more