Yoga Mat Thrilled To Spend Another Year Under Junior’s Bed
STAYER HALL — The large black yoga mat belonging to local junior Vivian Greene has finally made peace with the fact that it will be neglected and ignored for the entire 2018-2019 school year. Like many Boston College students, Greene recently declared a newfound commitment to exercise, but has so far received mixed reactions from her peers.
“I just don’t buy it,” said Greene’s yoga mat when asked about the chances of her attending the Plex’s 7:15 AM sunrise yoga class.
“I’ve been moved back and forth from Connecticut to Boston for the past two years, only to be unceremoniously shoved back under her bed for the entire year,” the mat continued. “Last year I was tucked behind some storage boxes all year—it was so dull it made me wish that her mom had never given in when she begged to buy me. But this year is shaping up to be great, I’m next to the dirty laundry basket, which promises a real cast of characters to chat with. I hope she never goes to yoga class!”
Greene, the unfit owner of the ill-fated yoga mat, was much more optimistic. “I’ve always wanted to do yoga, and I think this is the year I finally go for it,” she said, contorting her body into a position that vaguely resembled downward dog. “I’m so excited to finally align my chakras. Namaste!”
At press time, Greene was notably absent from her sunrise yoga class, with her roommate informing The Classic that the chemistry major was probably tuckered out from stress-crying herself to sleep.