OL Under Impression He’s “The Hot One”
FreshmenStudent Life July 31, 2018
THOMAS MORE APARTMENTS — Adjusting his gold-plated name tag from his reflection in the Robsham window, orientation leader Brayden McPatrick confirmed his self-appointed place in the OL hierarchy. “From the very beginning of training, the First Year Experience staff emphasized that we were selected to represent the BC community... Read more
Mary Ann’s Purchased By Walt Disney Company
Student Life July 18, 2018
CLEVELAND CIRCLE — Mary Ann’s Bar, the beloved local watering hole frequented by Boston College students for decades, was sold last week to the most magical company in the world. In the wake of its impending acquisition of 21st Century Fox, The Walt Disney Company has purchased Mary Ann’s... Read more
ALUMNI STADIUM — On Monday morning, Boston College conferred approximately 2,300 degrees to graduates of the various undergraduate schools. Amid the smiles, congratulatory remarks, and photographs, one newly-minted BC grad came to the realization she might not have gotten everything she should’ve out of her liberal arts degree. Upon being handed... Read more
Report: “Fuck, Roommate Out of Shampoo”
Student Life May 2, 2018
IGNACIO HALL — Since yesterday morning, reports have been pouring in that Christina Lavarme (LSOE ‘18) is still waiting for her direct roommate Christina Greene (MCAS ‘18) to buy more shampoo. This lack of shampoo comes at a particularly tumultuous time, given that the Iggy B68 roommates have been... Read more
Low On Meal Plan, Freshmen Experience First Shocking Taste of Poverty
FreshmenStudent Life April 25, 2018
MCELROY COMMONS — The walls of Carney Dining Hall, once echoing with carefree laughter and the joyous symphony of Upper residents enjoying lukewarm food, took a somber tone this past weekend as many students were forced to confront the reality of their economic standing in the mandatory meal plan.... Read more
Freshman Girl’s Shoulders Fall Victim To Lustful Gaze Of St. Ignatius Statue
FreshmenStudent Life April 23, 2018
OUTSIDE – In an effort to enjoy the long-awaited sunny day on the Heights, Heather Lewdowski (CSON ’21) perched herself on the base of the St. Ignatius statue on Monday afternoon, hoping to catch up on homework she neglected over the weekend and soak up some rays with classmates.... Read more
Philosophy Professor Blown Away By Students’ Enhanced Participation Today
HolidaysStudent Life April 20, 2018
TOKES HALL — Though discussions in Professor Robert Burnes-Dank’s Friday morning Perspectives class typically fall flat, today’s session ended on a rather high note. The entire class provided deep, burning, introspective thoughts surrounding Plato’s allegory of the cave. It was the most class participation Burnes-Dank had seen in his... Read more
Oh No: CAB Booked Their Brother-In-Law’s Band For Modstock After Their Wife Said It Would Mean A Lot To Him
Student Life April 18, 2018
LOWER CAMPUS — In an announcement that left countless students disappointed, the Campus Activities Board (CAB) revealed Thursday that My Old School, a Steely Dan cover band headed by their brother-in-law Rick Enroll would be the headline act for the 2018 “Modstock” concert. While CAB considered a few more well-known... Read more
Sophomore Who Regularly Sleeps Through 11 AM Class Happily Wakes Up At 6 AM To Drink
HolidaysStudent Life April 17, 2018
WALSH HALL — Connor Fitzgerald, a local sophomore who regularly skips his 11:00 AM Globalization class, happily woke up yesterday at 6:00 AM in anticipation of Marathon Monday. “This is the earliest I’ve seen him awake all semester,” said roommate David Brady (LSOE ’20). “He literally never goes to... Read more
I’m Not Waking Up At 6 AM Tomorrow To Drink, I’m Waking Up Because This Recipe Takes 12 Hours In The Crockpot
HolidaysStudent Life April 15, 2018
Slow Cooker Baked Beans Total: 12 hr 15 min Active: 5 min Yield: 12 servings Ingredients 1 bag dried navy beans, soaked overnight One 6-ounce can tomato puree 1/2 cup brown sugar 1/4 cup molasses 1 tablespoon dry mustard 8 slices bacon, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 large onion,... Read more