RD Uses Fire Drill As Chance To Streak Through Building
90 ST. THOMAS MORE ROAD — The fire drill that occurred Tuesday evening began normally, as disheveled students shuffled outside while emergency vehicles appeared on-site to check rooms. The night took an interesting twist, however, when Resident Director Ted Michaels reportedly ripped off his clothes and tore down the hallway, buck-naked and chanting “Eagles on the warpath, hoo-ha.”
After a stressful week of write-up meetings with young delinquents, the 32-year-old from New Jersey was apparently in dire need of some stress relief.
“When I saw the empty hallway laid out before me, I just knew I had to seize the opportunity,” said Michaels. “It was a really refreshing experience.”
After nearly an hour of strutting in his birthday suit, Michaels collapsed from exhaustion in the 7th floor lounge. He had to be carried back to his room by the RAs on duty.
Although Dan O’Donnell of the BCPD (non-emergency services) unit was on site, he refrained from detaining Michaels. “He just seemed so carefree,” reported O’Donnell. “I didn’t want to spoil his fun.”
At press time, Michaels could be seen wearing tear-away pants and lingering near the lobby fire alarm.