Student Reminds Friends Not To Swear This Weekend
WALSH HALL — Local student Brad Jones (MCAS ‘21) issued a general warning to his roommates today: don’t swear in front of his mom and dad, or else they’ll yell at him later. This announcement comes after last Wednesday’s revelation that the Jones family would be taking the entire eight-man out to dinner free of charge.
Richard White (CSOM ‘21), a roommate of Brad Jones, released an official response to the warning, saying “Brad’s such a fuckin’ hardo, always telling us to turn down the music and shit. I’m gonna order a Natty at the steakhouse they’re taking us to, just to see what his Mom says — maybe they’ll buy us beer, actually.”
John Johnson (CSOM ‘21) also went on record Friday, blowing raspberry noises in Jones’ face and walking away. It is suspected that these sounds were meant to resemble derisive farts.
At press time, Jones was seen picking up weeks-old beer cans left in the common room.