The New England Classic
Spooky! I Don’t Remember What I Said In My Last Snap
For more spooky, bone-chilling satire, look out for our print issue. Coming to a library near you, December 2019! Read more
Spooky! Jake Celebrating Halloween By Ghosting You
UNKNOWN LOCATION — Despite your Snapchat streak, double texts, and dinner dates at Lower over the past month, Jake Miller (CSOM ’21) has reportedly decided to embrace the Halloween spirit this year by ghosting you.  While most celebrate the holiday by carving pumpkins, dressing up, and watching horror movies,... Read more
Spooky! The CAB Hypnotist Converted This Junior To Judaism
O’CONNELL HOUSE — A Campus Activities Board event gained a little more chutzpah Tuesday when hypnotist Chris Jones converted a student to Judaism. Halfway through the show, Jones called Matthew Doyle (CSOM ‘21, BC High ‘17) up to the stage to be hypnotized. According to eyewitness reports, Jones pulled... Read more
Thursday’s Globalization Lecture Canceled After Old Tweets Resurface
MCGUINN HALL — Professor Rachel Godwin’s Thursday afternoon Globalization I lecture was canceled early Wednesday morning after damning tweets resurfaced that called into question the professor’s credibility as an authority on historical information. Posted late in August of 2017, the tweets themselves were a diatribe on the necessity of... Read more
OPINION: If My Roommate Doesn’t Stop Coughing I’m Going To Drop Out Of School

Sneeze in my mouth. I’d love that. But I absolutely cannot stand to hear my direct roommate smother her satanic coughs into her pillow anymore. I’m afraid she’s going to hack up one of her lungs in the middle of the night. 

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Campus VSCO Girls Successfully Unionize
O’NEILL PLAZA — Seeking a unified representative body and the right to collectively bargain with outside parties, Boston College’s VSCO community announced on Tuesday the successful filing and formation of a union under University oversight. Citing multiple cases of intellectual theft by a number of anonymous Boston College students,... Read more
Senior “Fall Breakers” Outdo Your Fall Break Plans
PUNTA CANA — Matt Jones (CSOM ’20) and Sam Sullivan (CSOM ’20) broke out of the hiking and home visiting Fall Break norm this weekend and truly took advantage of their two full days off. The two flew down to Punta Cana this weekend to “relax on the beach... Read more
REPORT: Sarah Went Apple Picking
Look for our print issue in December for more takes hot off the panini press. Read more
“Woah, It’s Windy,” Reports Entire Student Body
O’NEILL QUAD — Cries of “WoOOoOaaAAAaahh wiiIInnnNdDDyyYy!!” were heard all across campus today, after the head weatherman confirmed the suspicions of BC’s budding meteorologists: today was a windy day. Wendy Dei (CSOM ’22) was one of the first students to notice this gusty phenomenon. She gave Classic reporters her... Read more
Freshman ELP Member Shocked To Learn She Might Actually Have To Make Other Friends
MCELROY COMMONS — On Friday afternoon, Maddie Wilson (MCAS ’23) forced to come to terms that the Emerging Leader Program (ELP) might not have provided her with the friendships she hoped it would. After spending two full hours waiting for someone to respond to the lunch invite she sent... Read more