The New England Classic
Professor Brings Food On Last Day Of Class To Fatten Her Calves Before Slaughter
STOKES HALL — Wearing a devilish grin that only she knew the true meaning behind, English professor Sheila Brownstone brought three dozen donuts from Dunkin to her final Studies in Narrative class on Thursday at 10:30 AM. While her students think that Professor Brownstone is “just the sweetest,” others... Read more
Temporary Outage in Gasson Lighting Causes BC to Plummet in College Rankings
LINDEN LANE —In an unexpected turn of events, U.S. News & World Report announced that Boston College has dropped 16 spots in its highly-regarded ranking of national universities. Although the Washington D.C.-based news outlet typically updates its list only once a year in September, U.S. News spokesperson Darby Trary... Read more
Econ Major Is Basically In CSOM, Okay?
NOT FULTON — Sitting in Devlin 008 during Environmental Geoscience and updating his resume and LinkedIn profile while searching for summer internships on Wall Street, sophomore Devin Gattison (MCAS ‘18) firmly reminded himself that he’s basically in CSOM, okay? Gattison, who deeply regrets not applying to be in CSOM... Read more
Student Sits In Different Seat Third Week Of Class, Disrupts Space-Time Continuum
STOKES 113S — Reportedly thinking that she was just going to casually change things up a bit, Allison Linus (MCAS ‘19) accidentally caused a catastrophic disruption to the space-time continuum Tuesday afternoon when she sat in a different seat than she had been sitting in during the first two weeks... Read more
Lazy Bastard Only Has One Major
Apparently unaware that it’s possible to have two majors and a minor, Ed Stillman (MCAS ‘17) reportedly only has one major—philosophy—and isn’t planning on adding another anytime soon. “We’re worried about poor Ed and his apparent apathy for his own well being,” said his friend Tommy Flapjacks (MCAS ‘17),... Read more
Professor Alludes To Weekend In Hopes That Students Will Ask What He Did
FULTON HALL  — In an effort to connect with his students, Computers in Management professor Radnor Kirkwood started out his 10:30AM class a little differently Tuesday morning. Kirkwood, reportedly starting class at 10:31 to show his “relaxed and laid-back side,” began class with a question: “How was everyone’s weekend?”... Read more
“Going off of that” Plagues Discussion-Based Courses
Heated academic discussions are found in classrooms throughout Boston College at any time of the day, but seemingly more so in history courses than anywhere else. The logic behind this basically assumes that nothing is more debatable in modern academics than historical facts.  With levels of confidence among students... Read more
Lynch Sophomore Hoping for 4 Gold Stars on Final; Would Settle for 3
With an important final exam season quickly approaching, Kelly O’Connor (LSOE ‘17) is buckling down for the last stretch of her studies. O’Connor emphasized that her entire semester grades were riding on her Family, School, & Society final exam: If she averages 4 gold stars on her final, then... Read more