See-Through Schiller: Voyeurs and Exhibitionists Rejoice!

Integrated Sciences Building — Peepers, snoopers, busybodies, and nosy nellies alike were elated by the opening of the brand spanking new Schiller Institute. The majority of classrooms of Schiller, which house engineering courses, high-tech laboratories, and uncomfortable rolling desks, have at least one clear wall. As the nerds filed into the bright, shiny, and remarkably transparent facilities at the beginning of the semester, so did another group of students. 

Self-identified voyeur and engineering student, Seymour Ascrak, (MCAS ’25) was elated to begin classes this spring. 

“I really love what they’ve done with the space,” Ascrak said. “These walls truly are top of the line. Tempered glass, smudge-proof seal… I really think Boston College had the voyeur community in mind with the exposed design of this building. They went the extra mile for us, and It feels nice to be seen.” 

Some students, however, are uncomfortable with the crowd that these clear walls are drawing. 

“First of all, I have no idea why my Perspectives course is meeting in the 3D printing lab,” Reported Norma L. Persón. (MCAS ’23) “And it’s really distracting to see Seymour and his pals’ noses pressed up against the walls of my 9 AM lecture. No matter how hard I try to pretend it’s a real, opaque wall and not an aquarium tank-equivalent, I still cannot shake the feeling of their eyes piercing my back. Against all reason, I’d rather just be in a Carney cement fortress that can coddle me.” 

After much public pressure, a representative for the Schiller Institute published an official press release on the matter. “The newly formed colony of student voyeurists is an unprecedented consequence of the new facilities. Unfortunately, the decision to install glass walls in the building was completely made with aesthetic in mind, and not at all functionality.”

Measures to disband the clan of lookie-loos have been attempted, but it seems that they’ve only grown stronger in numbers. At press time, Seymour Ascrak and his fellow nosy-nellies were seen Windexing the walls of a senior seminar in the Integrated Sciences Building’s third floor.

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