CAUTION: Article Under Construction
June 10, 2021
Jack Dunn Excitedly Preparing For “Spotlight 2”
June 2, 2021
New CAB Event: Hunt Your Own Dinner
April 29, 2021
LTE: I Love BC But Only Because Of Pink Tree And Tulip
April 28, 2021
Neiiighhh! (Written by a Horse)
April 27, 2021
Wowza: Roommate Used To Have An Astounding Amount Of Pubic Hair
April 26, 2021
University Announces You Can Bring Two Hand Puppets To Graduation
April 23, 2021
Local Dandelion Slut Blows Every Blossom In Town
April 22, 2021
British Royal Navy Invades CAB World Fair
April 21, 2021
WTF: BC GET Pizza Boy Won’t Accept Sex As Payment
April 20, 2021
“After we stuffed the Holy Spirit behind the shower curtain, I tried to explain that we’re Three Persons, One God, so we should be exempt… they couldn’t seem to grasp the concept. BC is really going to regret doing this. Do they know who my Father is?”
“If I can contribute to the team by giving them the familiar sense of an empty stadium at halftime, regardless of the score, just so we can all go home and do literally nothing, well I’m happy to do it.”
SAINT MARY’S HALL — In response to recent charges of negligence and misreporting, Boston College representatives have released statements defending its testing strategy. “Look, this is college, right?” reported University Spokesperson, Jack Dunn, “And what do you do in college? Anyone? Okay fine, I’ll tell you: you grade on... Read more
“There’s one person at fault here. It’s not me, it’s not the administration, it’s just one person,” she told us, referring to You.
The Classic tried to reach Molly’s owner’s wife for comment, but we were unable to make contact.
Like what you see? Feeling short of breath? Zoom around our site for more single-serve, plastic-wrapped content! Read more
Start your worst year of college off on your best foot!
YAWKEY ATHLETIC CENTER — In a controversial press release, Boston College Athletic Director Patrick Kraft announced on Saturday that the University had approved the sale of nicotine patches in Alumni Stadium and Conte Forum. The specialty patches, reportedly dubbed “EagleBuzz”, will join the 2018 inclusion of beer and wine... Read more
Hey! Are you back living in your childhood bedroom? Are you a broke college student who is hurting from not being included in the COVID relief bill and rationing money to buy weed from that kid who dropped out of your high school? Are you already sick of your... Read more
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