The New England Classic
Weird: My Roommate Gets An Allowance From His Parents, But Still Wants Me To Pay Him Back For Stealing His Ketamine
Sources close to my roommate, Alex Milford (CSOM ’21), have reported that his parents, Jane (CSOM ’93) and Lawrence Milford (MCAS ’94) give him a monthly allowance. This information brings into question Milford’s recent assertion that he needed me to pay him back for the ketamine I stole from... Read more
Athletics Raises $150 Million Selling Knives

“You know, when the CutCo division of Vector reached out and told us we could make up to $18.50 an hour with a flexible schedule and great co-workers, we were definitely hesitant,” noted Jarmond. “But once we got every single athletics employee running the phones, calling friends and distant cousins, the results really spoke for themselves.”

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EagleKink Released To Connect Campus Freaks
BOSTON COLLEGE CAREER CENTER — Late last Sunday evening, Boston College administrators introduced EagleKink to the student body, a new extension of popular LinkedIn alternative EagleLink. According to sources, this new software acts as a campus-wide social networking site aimed at connecting students with others interested in alternative sexual... Read more
Introducing… SandwichBot3000!
After months of development, The NEC is finally debuting our new artificial intelligence technology SandwichBot3000, an automated content generating system capable of writing humor articles even faster than before! We are still working out a few bugs, but we’re confident we’ll have a fully automated writing staff by 2024.... Read more