Roommate’s New Year’s Resolution Seems To Be “Fart More”
Dorm StuffWTF January 24, 2022
“I think these under-thunders are a pretty passive-aggressive way of him asking for more alone time. This man is halfway to a charcuterie plate with all the cheese he’s been cutting. It’s unbelievable.”
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However, after a stroke of inspiration while scooting to his finance class, Speedster has decided to do what no other Boston College Athlete has done: scoot on home for the holidays. “Yeah I mean this bad boy can get me to Playa Bowls and back, why can’t I scoot to Florida?”
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The student body seemed to welcome the new addition to campus. One passerby, Secks Halver (MCAS ’24), shared her thoughts. “It’s amazing! It really is just like talking to the club members. I can’t wait to sit down every week and just duke it out with the wall. It’s gonna be cathartic.”
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“I don’t really think he understands that two people raw-dogging it on a lab bench is not the same as an embryo grown in a lab.”
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A Man For Others: This Guy Warms Every Chair Before His Class
Student LifeWTF November 11, 2021
“I see that kid in there at 8:00 AM, 7:30 even. Every week. He sits in each chair in that classroom, gets ‘em good and warm. Even talks to them sometimes. Before he moves on to the next one, he gives one tender little kiss.”
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Hafley Wants You To Give Morehead … A Chance
SportsStudent LifeWTF November 5, 2021
“The guys need Morehead. He’s a natural leader and will definitely come in handy. I think he’ll really loosen them up and get the juices flowing. There’s natural chemistry there. He may be the secret ingredient to finally arouse our boys.”
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Satan Visited Campus Today, And Yup, It Was Awesome
Campus CultureWTF October 22, 2021
“Yep. It was awesome,“ said Tugger Moatroder (MCAS ’23).
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Sophomore Goes on Retreat for Three Months to Six Years
Student LifeWTF October 21, 2021
“Many students have reported rigorous fingerprinting procedures and are supposedly required to have a session with a Boston-based criminal defense attorney.”
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Some staff members have been arguing that being made of chocolate makes you unqualified to coach a premier Division I hockey program, yet the players seem to be attracted to his unique method.
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