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Grindr Surpasses Claude As Most Used Site In CSOM
November 2, 2026
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Spooky! Fifth Friend In Group Gets Assigned A Costume
November 2, 2026
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Spooky! Guy’s Halloween Costume Leaves Little To The Imagination
November 1, 2026
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Spooky! Girlfriend Wonders Why Boyfriend’s Yellow Minion Costume Turned Green
October 29, 2026
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Physics Major Asks Lab Partner To “Torque” On It
October 23, 2026
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BCIC Invests In Shein Ahead Of Last-Minute $2 Costume Purchases
October 21, 2026
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2 Dead, 13 Injured, And 4 Missing After Fr. Jack’s Post-Inauguration Rave
October 20, 2026
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Report Finds That Approximately 98% Of Burns Library Artifacts Just Antique Smut
October 19, 2026
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Alumni Breaking Into Your Mod Says It’s Chill Because He “Lived Here In ’81”
October 16, 2026
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Blimey! Exchange Student From Liverpool Buzzin’ For Fr. Jack’s “Coronation”
October 15, 2026
“I don’t know the significance of the stuff. Everyone has the right to practice what they want, but golly, I just want to lick my thumb and shine them up just like my Bubbe used to do.”
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Father Leahy supposedly told the senior staff assembled that he would “not let it look like we’re copying those Ivy League fucks,” his frock crumbling with disdain as if it were flustered as well.
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“I didn’t end up having the virus, but just like the Four Loko, that shit cleaned me out. Lots of stuff resurfaced—turns out Jesus and I have a couple of things in common, like mad daddy issues.”
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Though many would have been distressed over the prospect of a job search during the pandemic, Atheist was grateful for the chance to return to his born surname.
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I felt a phantasm of my mother’s being beckoning me, like a tether to this corporeal realm, and as she called me back from the darkness, she whispered, ‘Get your father and I “BC Mom and Dad” fleece jackets, sweetie.
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ST. IGNATIUS — Reports surfaced that the walls in the confessionals are dangerously thin. Current student Jack Barrey (CSOM ’21) said he was waiting in line to confess his sins from two Marathon Mondays ago when he heard something unsettling coming from the confessional. “I sat there in disbelief,...
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McELROY COMMONS — The Office of Campus Ministry announced Tuesday morning that effective immediately all eucharistic wafers will be individually wrapped in saran wrap. The statement was communicated to the Boston College community in an email which also included the phrase “care for the whole person” 17 times. “Due...
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JOHN Okay, we all know THIS is the best Bible. It has Jesus, Jesus’ little pals, and even two fish! We will award John $25 to Home Depot. DEUTERONOMY Uh-Oh! Dirty Bible! We remember this Bible because it is little more than a filthy carnival of the uncouth, and...
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ST. MARY’S HALL — Boston College Libraries, under the direction of administrators, quietly cancelled campus subscriptions to the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) last week, replacing them with subscriptions to a new Jesuit periodical, W, S.J. The cancellation, which was announced via Post-it Note on the O’Neill Answer Wall on...
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MCELROY HALL — This past Friday, as he was strolling down Commonwealth Avenue, Fr. Rob Trogen, S.J. reportedly encountered two students giving out “weird gloves” outside of the McElroy Dining Hall. According to onlookers, Fr. Trogen appeared confused by the students’ helpful-yet-mischievous demeanor. “Why don’t these gloves have any...
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