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Eaters Rejoice As Women’s Center Now Offers “Cookie Mondays”
September 21, 2026
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Junior Girl Abroad Takes Pill in Ibiza to Fulfill Cultural Diversity Core
September 17, 2026
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Due To Budget Cuts, UMaine Game To Have Gloving Show At Halftime
September 16, 2026
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10 Things Now Requiring Duo Mobile Authentication
September 15, 2026
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Econ Major Larps As CSOM Student
September 14, 2026
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Student With Victim Complex Enrolls In Victimology, Expects An Easy A
September 9, 2026
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UHS Hands Out Free Cigarettes To Promote Chainsmokers Concert
September 9, 2026
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People Have Never Been More Supportive Of My Two-Mile Monday Jog
September 9, 2026
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CSOM Student Photographing Cherry Blossoms Will One Day Finance The Amazon’s Deforestation
September 9, 2026
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Free The Nipple: Female Students Feel Left Out Of Shirtless Spikeball Fun
September 9, 2026
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STOKES S140 — After learning few weeks too late that “dark mode” is now a popular smartphone feature, head of the Academic Advising, John Dunderhead, MCAS ’82, officially scrapped all plans to revamp UIS. Rumors of converting UIS into a more user-friendly platform have been heard around campus, but...
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MCGUINN HALL — Professor Rachel Godwin’s Thursday afternoon Globalization I lecture was canceled early Wednesday morning after damning tweets resurfaced that called into question the professor’s credibility as an authority on historical information. Posted late in August of 2017, the tweets themselves were a diatribe on the necessity of...
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O’NEILL QUAD — Cries of “WoOOoOaaAAAaahh wiiIInnnNdDDyyYy!!” were heard all across campus today, after the head weatherman confirmed the suspicions of BC’s budding meteorologists: today was a windy day. Wendy Dei (CSOM ’22) was one of the first students to notice this gusty phenomenon. She gave Classic reporters her...
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STOKES HALL 324S — Late Monday evening, young feminist Natasha Meyer (CSOM ’21) delivered a major blow to the patriarchy by sleeping with her professor to receive a better grade on an exam — without letting him finish. After receiving a failing midterm grade, Meyer wasted no time in...
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HIGGINS HALL — Senior neuroscience major Emma McArthur reportedly threw in the towel on Tuesday evening and decided to drop out of Boston College just two semesters away from completing her degree. The night of the breakdown, McArthur was sitting in her Psychophysiology Of Stress class. Classmates on the...
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FULTON HALL — A report been done has say that CSOM bad. This report done by CSOM (bad) and confirmding this is the school’s spokesguy who speaks at school and says, “CSOM bad.” Students in and teachers at Boston’s College are agree with CSOM bad. MCAS guy Steven Stevens,...
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STAYER HALL — Junior Joanna Yost returned to Boston College last Sunday after a relaxing weekend at home, and found herself in the middle of judgmental and passive-aggressive comments from her peers. They were reportedly “dumbfounded” when she revealed that she had spent her time home unwinding and decompressing...
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“Franklin declined to give The Classic any comment. Efforts to reach out to her third eye were unsuccessful as well.”
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O’NEILL LIBRARY — This past Friday, freshman pre-med student Jessica Connors announced her recent decision to put passwords on her quizlets. Connors was most recently seen taking up an entire table with her books and her molecular modeling kit in preparation for her upcoming chemistry exam. Connors, who reportedly...
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Historically, Boston College has refrained from using “weighted” words such as “racist,” “hate-crime,” and “responsible,” but Sunday’s summit faced that language head-on, aiming to exonerate its attendees of any reason to associate the phrases with themselves.
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