Academic Advising: “UIS Had Darkmode First”

STOKES S140 — After learning few weeks too late that “dark mode” is now a popular smartphone feature, head of the Academic Advising, John Dunderhead, MCAS ’82, officially scrapped all plans to revamp UIS.

Rumors of converting UIS into a more user-friendly platform have been heard around campus, but Dunderhead officially put them to bed, assuring students that “UIS actually is modern” because it contained the dark mode feature long before apps like Twitter and Instagram did. 

“Yes, we have heard your complaints about UIS, but it’s actually a lot harder than you’d think to change this system,” said Dunderhead. “We were really trying to find any excuse possible to keep it and this is it! I mean, this just shows how ahead of everyone’s time UIS is.”

When asked how this “discovery” would offset UIS’s other problems—including, but not limited to, slow processing, bad aesthetics, and overall chaoticness—Dunderhead declined to comment. The Advising Center reported that they also will not address any other student complaints regarding course registration while they try to process this record high perceived student approval.

At press time, UIS developers were allegedly programming a virus to distribute to all student computers during registration.

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