Pre-Med Student Password Protects Her Quizlets
O’NEILL LIBRARY — This past Friday, freshman pre-med student Jessica Connors announced her recent decision to put passwords on her quizlets. Connors was most recently seen taking up an entire table with her books and her molecular modeling kit in preparation for her upcoming chemistry exam.
Connors, who reportedly chose the pre-med track because “Grey’s Anatomy is my favorite show of all time,” expressed concern about her classmates being able to use her quizlets for their own benefit.
“That girl who sits in front of me has definitely been using my quizlets, I just know it,” Connors said, furiously flipping through her textbook. “And last time, I snagged her test off of her desk after she got it back and went to the bathroom, and she did four whole points better than me! I need to get into med school — not her, damn it!”
When asked about the situation, many of the students in Connors’ General Chemistry class had never heard of her. Of the few students who did know her, Alex Beaker (MCAS ‘22) described her as “the girl who always wants to know how you did on the exam.”
Despite providing no evidence that her classmates have been studying from her quizlets, Connors reportedly believes that password-protected quizlets are the most surefire way to prevent her peers from getting higher grades than she does.
“It’s not that I’m, like, super competitive, it’s just I need to do better than other people to have a sense of self-worth, you know?” explained Connors.
At press time, Connors was seen sitting outside Professor Wolfman’s office 45 minutes before office hours.