When asked to elaborate, Hafley said “You know, like a goofy one. It means you can do whatever you want as long as it’s appropriate! You can stick your tongue out or give someone bunny ears, as long as it doesn’t hurt his feelings.”

Read more

WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW—Wow! You must be sooooooo embarrassed. Haven’t you noticed that everyone is looking at you right now? No, it’s actually really funny. Literally everyone who has ever existed on the face of this vast earth can hear your music blasting through your headphones right now. ... Read more

We finally started to see what was in front of our eyes the whole time. It was all smoke and mirrors. Classroom after classroom, that blue yet delectable liquid.

Read more

WHEREVER THEY KEEP THE BC TECH PEOPLE— Students and faculty alike have been frantically saving their gmail passwords and kissing their loved ones goodbye in preparation for the most anticipated event of the month: The Google 2-Step Rapture. As made abundantly clear by BC Technology Services, the rapture is... Read more

“These kids worked so hard to get where we are this season,” said Hafley, “Frankly, any team that dropped 50 points on that Colgate defense is undeniably one of the best 25 teams in the nation.”

Read more

UNKNOWN LOCATION—It’s finally here. The day of Stokes Set, the first since the 2019-2020 academic year. Our esteemed CAB has sorted through and selected only the best, most qualified artist to perform to the masses of Eagles—the guy they hired for Plexapalooza before it got canceled. Bryce Vine will... Read more

Walsh Hall— Last Friday night, during the peak hours of elevator usage in Walsh Hall, many students reported that a sick, sick man was standing in the elevator asking people what floor they were getting off on. At first it seemed the man was just being polite, but when... Read more

The following article was translated with assistance from the Boston College Libraries. Hell yeah, dude. Another day as a horse. I thought today I’d just do my normal routine (wake up, eat hay, clop), but the kind people at The New England Classic reached out and asked if I’d... Read more