FULTON HALL — A report been done has say that CSOM bad. This report done by CSOM (bad) and confirmding this is the school’s spokesguy who speaks at school and says, “CSOM bad.” Students in and teachers at Boston’s College are agree with CSOM bad. MCAS guy Steven Stevens,... Read more
We Got Really Drunk And Ranked All 26 Letters Of The Alphabet
WTF April 15, 2019
We’re tired of people not taking us seriously as a legitimate source of news and journalism here at BC. So fine, you want real reporting, you’ll get real reporting. Here’s a ranking of every letter in the alphabet from worst to best. 26) W – The clear choice for... Read more
O’NEILL LIBRARY — Conservative author and commentator Ben Shapiro announced last Friday that he has finalized the purchase of both Bapst Library and O’Neill Library, in an effort to “truly own the libs, once and for all.” Boston College officially verified the acquisition in an email to students and... Read more
ST. MARY’S HALL — Boston College Libraries, under the direction of administrators, quietly cancelled campus subscriptions to the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) last week, replacing them with subscriptions to a new Jesuit periodical, W, S.J. The cancellation, which was announced via Post-it Note on the O’Neill Answer Wall on... Read more
Can you hear the rumble? The rumble from beyond the hill? The slow, growing rumble of the Heightsmen, bumbling, tumbling and stumbling into town? Be still, for they can smell your fear… Boston College’s ONLY all-male a capella group is singing 50’s Doo-Wop on campus once again. It all... Read more
CARNEY BASEMENT — A clandestine chicken-fighting operation in Carney 003 has become the latest Newton business to accept Eagle Bucks, allowing students to easily bet vending machine money on the vicious bloodsport. Designating university-backed currency as legal tender at illegal animal-fighting rings has been questioned by many at... Read more
“Franklin declined to give The Classic any comment. Efforts to reach out to her third eye were unsuccessful as well.”
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Holy shit, it’s your birthday! You’re another year older, and BC knows the most thrilling way for you to celebrate. A nice dinner with your friends and family? Humbug! A card from grandma? Phooey! These gifts are nothing compared to the gift Agora is giving you this year –... Read more
WALSH HALL — It was reported around 9:45 PM on Tuesday that at least three pigs were running through the halls of the fifth floor of Walsh Hall. It was unclear where the pigs had come from or why they were there. The Boston College Police Department (BCPD) was... Read more
STOKES SOUTH — This past Friday, the Boston College Academic Review Board found Brigham O’Brennan (MCAS ‘21) guilty of gross academic misconduct after a week-long investigation. Rather than place him on academic probation, the Board demoted the sophomore from English major to English captain. As an English captain, O’Brennan’s... Read more