The New England Classic
Bookstore Sends Official Statement On 1919 Anglo-Irish War, Also A 25% Off Coupon On A Hat
BOSTON COLLEGE BOOKSTORE — This week, the Boston College Bookstore broke a longstanding precedent of apolitical neutrality when they released an official statement on the clash between Irish Republicans and the British Government, which ended nearly 100 years ago, in their routine email blast to the student body. The... Read more
Report: Skipping Class Not Even Fun Anymore
CHESTNUT HILL— According to recent data, an alarming new trend has established itself in the undergraduate community at Boston College: skipping class is reportedly “like, really not even that fun anymore.”  Brian Dead (MCAS ’22) told The Classic, “I was watching this movie the other day and these really... Read more
UGBC To Hold Impeachment Trial by Slapbox

Students have demonstrated overwhelming support for the process, citing it as “the most productive UGBC has ever been.”

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CAB Holds Presidents’ Day Mattress Sale
CARNEY HALL — Campus Activities Board (CAB) kept in the holiday spirit Sunday when they announced their latest half-assed promotion, a Presidents’ Day mattress sale. The news comes on the heels of another thoroughly underwhelming matchmaking survey and weeks of similarly stale events thrown together by the club. The... Read more
Newton Student Misses Carpool

“‘So sad. I simply could not imagine being dropped off for college by a yellow school bus. It’s just so embarrassing,’ said John Fitzgerald (CSON ‘24), who was later seen struggling to open the sliding door of his mom’s minivan.”

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Roommate Who Spent Break In Miami Disappointed By University’s COVID Response
WALSH HALL — As the Spring semester kicks off, many students have expressed concerns regarding the administration’s strategy to keep COVID numbers low.  “As someone who spent all summer spreading awareness about the pandemic, I just hope that Boston College will continue to take it seriously,” Said Sue Perspreader... Read more
CAB To Give Out FastPasses For Dining Hall Lines
CORCORAN COMMONS — Lengthy lines at campus dining halls have left many Boston College students hungry for quicker service to fill their rumbling tummies. Lines at Lower, Mac, and Stuart this past week were longer than ever as students returned to campus.  Luckily, in their weekly email full of... Read more
Opinion: Strip Mod Must Go On, Even If It’s a Private Little Show Just For Me
Throughout the fall semester, far too many beloved Boston College traditions have been postponed, doomed to rot on the shelf until further notice. But if I could make a plea to ensure one tradition continues this semester, it would be this: Strip Mod must go on, even if it’s... Read more
Getting Festive: CAB Announces They Have Hidden A Bomb

“If the bomb is found and deactivated successfully, the student responsible will win a free personal training session at the Plex, along with a $20 Flat Breads gift card. If the device is not found, the scale of destruction could be incomprehensible. “

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Wait, Did I Miss Stokes Set?

“I heard it was going to be Becky G!!”

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