Campus Culture Archives | Page 2 of 9 | The New England Classic

WOAH! Boy Legs!

Campus Culture Student Life March 31, 2021

THAT FIELD ON THE PLEX GRAVEYARD — The student body of Boston College has been positively feral recently. With relatively warm temperatures, sunny blue skies, and seemingly unlimited access to lawn games, everyone has been taking advantage of the changing of the seasons. The peak of this excitement occurred... Read more

MUN Roommate Needs You To Be Quiet So That They Can Launch A Missile

Campus Culture Dorm Stuff Featured March 30, 2021

“I was the one who got to announce that the projectiles had entered foreign airspace, so I really just needed the dorm quiet for a hot minute.”

LTE: I Paid For This Mulch So I Am Taking Some Just For Me

Campus Culture LTE Student Life March 27, 2021

When the mounds of mulch arrive on campus, I know it from a mile away. And I take some. In my hand, to my house. Just for me.

Dr. Douglas Comeau Can’t Get Enough Of My Sweet, Sweet Nostrils (I Got Called Twice This Week)

Campus Culture Coronavirus School Student Life March 25, 2021

CONNELL RECREATION CENTER — Sunday at midnight. That glorious, soaking wet time when a large portion of Boston College students get their highly-anticipated weekly COVID test email. This week went by like any other: I logged onto Zoom for “class”, spread my usual pathogens, and spent at least an... Read more

The Sun Puts University Counseling Services Out Of Business

Campus Culture Student Life March 22, 2021

“I’ll be honest, when we looked at the forecast for the next two weeks, we knew we were fucked,” said UCS chairperson Dr. Sigmund Noid. “High temperatures, blue skies, and Danny brought spikeball? It’s a psychiatrist’s nightmare!”

Bookstore Sends Official Statement On 1919 Anglo-Irish War, Also A 25% Off Coupon On A Hat

Big Issues Campus Culture School Student Life March 17, 2021

BOSTON COLLEGE BOOKSTORE — This week, the Boston College Bookstore broke a longstanding precedent of apolitical neutrality when they released an official statement on the clash between Irish Republicans and the British Government, which ended nearly 100 years ago, in their routine email blast to the student body. The... Read more

Report: Skipping Class Not Even Fun Anymore

Campus Culture Coronavirus February 17, 2021

CHESTNUT HILL— According to recent data, an alarming new trend has established itself in the undergraduate community at Boston College: skipping class is reportedly “like, really not even that fun anymore.” Brian Dead (MCAS ’22) told The Classic, “I was watching this movie the other day and these really... Read more

UGBC To Hold Impeachment Trial by Slapbox

Campus Culture WTF February 16, 2021

Students have demonstrated overwhelming support for the process, citing it as “the most productive UGBC has ever been.”

CAB Holds Presidents’ Day Mattress Sale

Campus Culture February 15, 2021

CARNEY HALL — Campus Activities Board (CAB) kept in the holiday spirit Sunday when they announced their latest half-assed promotion, a Presidents’ Day mattress sale. The news comes on the heels of another thoroughly underwhelming matchmaking survey and weeks of similarly stale events thrown together by the club. The... Read more

Newton Student Misses Carpool

Campus Culture Freshmen Newton February 11, 2021

“‘So sad. I simply could not imagine being dropped off for college by a yellow school bus. It’s just so embarrassing,’ said John Fitzgerald (CSON ‘24), who was later seen struggling to open the sliding door of his mom’s minivan.”