Slimiest Guy You Know Works For Eagles Realty Now
Big IssuesCampus CultureOpinionResLife February 20, 2023
Rampant Misogynist Says You Can’t Come To Super Bowl Watch Party To Only Watch Commercials
Campus CultureSports February 12, 2023
“It’s fun to have some eye candy in the room,” said Ist when interviewed by the Classic about his evening gathering. “I just don’t want them yapping about the commercials the entire time. I’m from Philly, so it’s a big night for me.” Hist, who has been described by his girl friends as “tone deaf,” and “insulting,” hails from Wilmington, Delaware.
Read moreSpring Break Planning Uncovers That No One In The Friend Group Actually Likes Each Other
Campus CultureStudent Life February 11, 2023
Through the thin walls of Walsh Hall, sophomores chatter about roommate preferences, expenses, and location possibilities. Though in theory it is an exciting time, it isn’t looking too pretty for the groups we spoke with.
Read moreGasson Exhibiting Signs Of Napoleon Complex After Arrival Of Much Taller Crane
Big IssuesCampus Culture January 26, 2023
“That big ole nerd? He stink. Nobody like crane,” replied Gasson in a clear exhibition of its newly developed Napoleon complex.
Read morePick Me Guy Walks Into Friendsgiving, Says “Where My Thanks At”
Campus CultureHolidaysStudent Life November 20, 2022
The latest showing of Latz’s pick me tendencies came Saturday night when he showed up five minutes late to his upstairs neighbors’ Friendsgiving dinner and began asking every person at the function, “Where my thanks at?”
Read moreReceipt Reveals That Student Actually Did Order A Side Of Bug
Big IssuesCampus CultureStudent LifeWTF November 15, 2022
Due To Warm Weather, UCS Starts Support Group For Canada Goose Owners
Big IssuesCampus Culture November 11, 2022
“This warm weather has gotten really concerning lately,” said Sue Warm (CSOM ’25). “It shouldn’t be 65 degrees in November– it’s just not natural. We are biologically inclined to be wearing our Canada Goose jackets at this time of the year. Repressing this instinct is making us all feel super depressed. I’m so depressed, I’ve only been using Olaplex steps 3-5. I’m too depressed to even use steps 6-9.”
Read moreGuy Who Hates Christmas Ready To Make It His Whole Personality
Campus CultureHolidays November 1, 2022
Neighbor Holly Day (LSOE ’23) said, “My roommates and I were just enjoying our evening, stringing lights in the living room, when all of a sudden there was a deafening knock on the door. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a fervent noise complaint from an angry man in a nightcap who looked like he could have been either 22 or 82.”
Read moreSPOOKY: Blandest Person You Know Going As Maddy From Euphoria For Halloween
Campus CultureSpookyStudent Life October 27, 2022
One young avant-garde, Mary Muhndane (MCAS ’25), was blessed with a stroke of genius with the most original idea to go as Maddy from the little-watched trauma porn, I mean show, Euphoria, on HBO.
Read moreGame Of Thrones Spin-Off “House Of Roncastle” Coming To HBO In Spring 2023
Campus CultureDorm StuffFeatured October 17, 2022
House of Roncastle is to be a 10-episode-long tale of the illustrious Roncalli Hall, a safe haven for neglected and worthless sophomores of Boston College.
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