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TRAGIC: Roommate May Have Voted Libertarian
December 12, 2020
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OIP Announces New External Program With Galactic Federation
December 11, 2020
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Opinion: Strip Mod Must Go On, Even If It’s a Private Little Show Just For Me
December 10, 2020
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Student Who Moved Home Just Now Realizing His Parents Got Divorced
December 9, 2020
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The Stress Of The Season: My Dentist Took Like 9 Ritalins And Removed All Of My Teeth
December 8, 2020
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Getting Festive: CAB Announces They Have Hidden A Bomb
December 7, 2020
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Wait, Did I Miss Stokes Set?
December 4, 2020
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CSOM Announces New “Pay-For-Grade” Initiative
December 3, 2020
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“Can Someone Call the Uber?,” Asks Friend Who Never Calls the Uber
December 2, 2020
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Computer Science Department Hires Actual Python To Teach Classes
December 1, 2020
THE NEC NEWSROOM, ONTARIO, CANADA — Now folks, if we may, we’d like to be straight with you for a moment. Here at The New England Classic, we’ve made a killing on the gaffes Boston College’s top people make each day. But god damn it, we just can’t find...
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Well, I can’t seem to explain it really — compared to the commotion of most others days so far, today’s shaping up to be about as perfectly ordinary as it gets. Perhaps I should elaborate. My alarm went off at seven, as it usually does. I snoozed it just...
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WALSH HALL — Recent reports from multiple Walsh residents have confirmed that local roommate and VSCO girl Sarah Sleshinger was seriously considering a “sexy RBG” costume for this Halloween. The costume, consisting of only the little white collar-thing and a gavel in the shape of a penis, was purchased...
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McELROY COMMONS— Senior Stephen Kelly (‘21) got more than he paid for at his most recent trip to McElroy Commons. Kelly, who usually frequents Lower Dining Hall or his own 2150 Kitchen, found himself in the Upper campus eatery to grab a quick chicken and two sides after his...
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GABELLI HALL — Dreams of a blissful thot-umn were thrown into uncertainty when news broke that Doctorina Miami (CSON ‘22), Vice President of Boston College EMS, was being sued for medical malpractice and emotional distress by a pumpkin she carved earlier this week. “I was just trying to be...
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For weeks, I’d spend my days sitting in its shadow telling it about my day or just admiring its smooth, supple stone and powerful frame. The courageous independence of its existence.
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“Marley later clarified that he does not believe COVID-19 will impact his ability to hook up with you, just his emotional availability. As Boston College cracked down on the number of guests allowed in each place of residence, Marley felt it was only right to enforce a strict no-sleepover policy at his place starting Saturday. “
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Happy Thursday, October 15, Boston College! Boy, isn’t today normal? The first thing I did after getting out of bed was brush my teeth with a little Colgate®️ Optic White toothpaste. Then, I took my morning shower and changed into a casual outfit. To finish off my morning routine,...
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STOKES NORTH — In a jarring series of events, Professor Kerry Cronin rewrote thirty years of Perspectives curriculum after a revelation came to her in a dream. After her weekly Thursday night ritual of picking up a WHOPPER Jr.®️ and a large order of Burger King’s famous chicken fries...
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GASSON QUAD — The undergraduate population was buzzing with excitement on Wednesday when campus fixture Molly the Dog was spotted with a much younger black labrador named Maisie. After rumors circulated that Molly was about to take a long trip to a farm upstate, she reached out to The...
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