The New England Classic
Mac Remodel Unveiled, Mike@Mac Now Master Chief
McELROY COMMONS—With a much-needed face-lift to Carney Dining Room complete, students of the Upper Campus and CoRo communities have been abuzz about the changes to what has come to be called “New Mac.” Sleeker signage and brighter lighting have given the space a fresher look, while many have remarked... Read more
Undergraduate Llama Thrilled That He Can Spit Again Following Expiration Of Mask Mandate

Evidently, Pakka has quite the reputation for projectile launching large swaths of mucus from his mouth, which can often be disruptive during class lectures. A deep dive into the record books revealed Pakka once hit a TA with his spit from the last row of McGuinn 121, a record that still stands today.

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See-Through Schiller: Voyeurs and Exhibitionists Rejoice!
Integrated Sciences Building — Peepers, snoopers, busybodies, and nosy nellies alike were elated by the opening of the brand spanking new Schiller Institute. The majority of classrooms of Schiller, which house engineering courses, high-tech laboratories, and uncomfortable rolling desks, have at least one clear wall. As the nerds filed... Read more
Dennis Grosel’s Dad Complains To Jeff Hafley About Son’s Playing Time

When questioned, Dennis Senior was open to speaking on the topic, “Yeah I spoke to the Ol’ Haf. I showed him Lil Denny’s highlight reel from St. Ignatius High School. Since I was already there, I offered up some plays that I used in college when I was a walk-on defensive end in ’87.”

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Vending Machine Accepts Another Generous Donation
VANDERSLICE HALL — Boston College has long encouraged its students to be “men and women for others.” Whether this be through service-based classes, organizations like ForBoston, or general acts of kindness, many undergraduates have embraced this mission throughout their time at BC. Recent buzz has brought into the spotlight... Read more
Pro-Life Club Replaces Table Representatives With Brick Wall

The student body seemed to welcome the new addition to campus. One passerby, Secks Halver (MCAS ’24), shared her thoughts. “It’s amazing! It really is just like talking to the club members. I can’t wait to sit down every week and just duke it out with the wall. It’s gonna be cathartic.”

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LTE: Roaring Twenties? I Started Smoking Cigarettes
What a life. We’re moving out of the pandemic, I’m a freshman in college, and it’s the 2020s. If the 1920s are any indication of how the next decade should go, we’re about to have the most insane ten years of our lives. But how will we know that... Read more
Guy Registers Special Little Mod Party Just For Himself

One mod resident who didn’t receive a pick time reported hearing strange sounds throughout the night. “I’d hear, like, Shakira playing and think ‘Oh, he is having a party,’” said Tom Blamigan (LSOE ’22), “but then it’d be followed by the kind of sob that could only come from a grown man. Really guttural stuff. It was tough to listen to.”

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Students Honor Welles By Tying Bandannas Around Their Tits

Young women were seen far and wide sporting the popularized dress of the Red Bandanna game: a bandanna forced, stretched, and morphed against its will into a sorry excuse for a shirt.

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SPOOKY: Ghosts Forced To Find New Haunts Because Of Guest Policy Crackdown
GONZAGA HALL — While most BC students have been enjoying the newfound freedom of the lenient guest policies this year, one unlucky group of guys and ghouls pushed the boundaries too far this past weekend. Resident Gonzaga ghosts Larry B. Scary and Vincent Van Ghost were haunting the halls as... Read more