The New England Classic
BC Alcohol Compliance Officer Ranked First in Jobs That Will Definitely Get You Laid

U.S. News posted the rankings this past week with The New England Classic Staff Writer and Monster Truck Driver coming in positions two and three, respectively. Both of those positions pull more sexual partners than all other jobs with the exception of Alcohol Compliance Officer.

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BREAKING: The Most Narcissistic Person You know Just Launched A Podcast

“It just makes sense. Throughout the day, he records voice memos on his phone that he plays back at night to lull himself to sleep.” 

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A Crowded Newton Bus And 4 Other Places You NEED To End Your Situationship In

“It’s day 30 of my time here at BC, so I’d like to share my 5 favorite places to end things with the person who has made you incapable of feeling anything at all anymore.”

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BC’s Red Scare: Your RA Is A Communist

According to the students, the ruling class is Father Leahy and his cabal of money grubbing bourgeois aristocrats hell bent on reaping the benefits of the cheap labor of student employees.

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“Broke” Roommate Packs For Fall Break Trip To Paris

“Somewhere in the Boston Logan Airport, a plane prepares for its departure to Paris tomorrow. On that plane will be your destitute cash-strapped roommate whose mom couldn’t even book her the Four Seasons in time. But that will be a problem for tomorrow.”

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Super Original Girl Says  “Why He Kinda…” Towards Every  Dad During Parents Weekend

“She keeps pointing out these ugly ass old men and saying they’re hot,” said Oyed. “Like, yeah it was funny the first time, but now it’s just getting annoying and weird.”

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BC Builds Outdoor Venue For Stoning Sinners And Heretics

“I’ve seen this campus descend into moral depravity and sin over my career and it’s time we enhanced the judicial processes outlined in the Student Code of Conduct,” said Fr. Leahy. “We need to go back to the good old days when people doing bad things didn’t go through a long systematic trial, and we just stoned them to death. This outdoor venue is exactly for that.”

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Tour Groups are Back! 10 Projectiles to Throw at Them
DEVLIN HALL – What rhymes with azure poop and is always in your way? That’s right! A tour group! As you may have noticed, our gilded walkways have become infested with masses of prospective Boston College Eagles. It’s about time we take back our walkways, the walkways that were... Read more
Uh Oh! This Born And Raised New Yorker Is About To Tell The Class What They Think Of The South…

‘Once I graduate, I have full intention of moving to the true mixing pot of America: Brooklyn, NY. I’ve never been anywhere near the Mason-Dixon Line, and I have no intention of coming close to it, or the poverty line while I’m at it.’

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This Guy Wearing Harvard Sweatshirt Wants Everyone To Know He Got Waitlisted

“‘I got this sweatshirt on my tour of Harvard a couple of years ago, and although Harvard wasn’t the right fit for me in the end, this sweatshirt definitely is'”

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