The New England Classic
“Broke” Roommate Packs For Fall Break Trip To Paris

“Somewhere in the Boston Logan Airport, a plane prepares for its departure to Paris tomorrow. On that plane will be your destitute cash-strapped roommate whose mom couldn’t even book her the Four Seasons in time. But that will be a problem for tomorrow.”

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Super Original Girl Says  “Why He Kinda…” Towards Every  Dad During Parents Weekend

“She keeps pointing out these ugly ass old men and saying they’re hot,” said Oyed. “Like, yeah it was funny the first time, but now it’s just getting annoying and weird.”

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BC Builds Outdoor Venue For Stoning Sinners And Heretics

“I’ve seen this campus descend into moral depravity and sin over my career and it’s time we enhanced the judicial processes outlined in the Student Code of Conduct,” said Fr. Leahy. “We need to go back to the good old days when people doing bad things didn’t go through a long systematic trial, and we just stoned them to death. This outdoor venue is exactly for that.”

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Tour Groups are Back! 10 Projectiles to Throw at Them
DEVLIN HALL – What rhymes with azure poop and is always in your way? That’s right! A tour group! As you may have noticed, our gilded walkways have become infested with masses of prospective Boston College Eagles. It’s about time we take back our walkways, the walkways that were... Read more
Uh Oh! This Born And Raised New Yorker Is About To Tell The Class What They Think Of The South…

‘Once I graduate, I have full intention of moving to the true mixing pot of America: Brooklyn, NY. I’ve never been anywhere near the Mason-Dixon Line, and I have no intention of coming close to it, or the poverty line while I’m at it.’

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This Guy Wearing Harvard Sweatshirt Wants Everyone To Know He Got Waitlisted

“‘I got this sweatshirt on my tour of Harvard a couple of years ago, and although Harvard wasn’t the right fit for me in the end, this sweatshirt definitely is'”

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Mudstock Mud Replaced With Broken Glass

“In previous years, we’ve gone for a 50% mud, 50% glass approach”, said CAB Treasurer Lemmy C. Themdogs (MCAS ’23). “It helped to cut costs, but clearly it didn’t help to cut feet. At least not enough for our standards.”

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10 Lies To Tell Your SAP Tour To Totally Bamboozle Them

During spring, you can catch representatives from the Student Admission Program (SAP) in their natural habitat, leading herds of wild visitors through campus. Out of the many opportunities for false promises and misleading exaggerations, here are The New England Classic’s top 10 to tell your tour group.

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CSOM Students Search “What’s Going On In Ukraine Right Now” Following Commencement Speaker Announcement

However, one quick google search informed Owt that Ukraine is in fact not a new peer-to-peer lending platform, but rather a nation state that is being viciously and unjustly invaded by neighboring Russia.

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Pfft… Only 26.2 Miles? This Student Walked Across The Country To Boston College

“It’s a been there, done that situation. If you climbed Mount Everest, would you be dying to show people that you can climb some stairs? Not really.”

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