Campus Culture Archives | Page 3 of 20 | The New England Classic

Fuck! Student Who Never Does The Readings Just Made A Better Point Than You

Campus Culture School September 24, 2024

“Coe Stir (MCAS ’25) somehow delivered a profound and easily understandable analysis of Hobbesian political theory, despite clearly having no idea what was going on.”

Classics Department Thrilled For Battle Against Spartans

Campus Culture Sports September 20, 2024

STOKES AMPHITHEATER, A NEW ACROPOLIS — With BC football preparing for an epic game against the Michigan State Spartans, the students and professors of the Classical Studies Department have begun preparations of their own. “Those who hail from Sparta are brutal, warlike people,” said Professor Per C. Jakksun. “We... Read more

Classmate With Red Bandana On Backpack Wouldn’t Even Hold The Door For You

Big Issues Campus Culture Sports September 19, 2024

“Most of those who tie a bandana to their backpack honor Welles’ heroic legacy. However, some students who do it can’t remember their last act of service for anybody other than themselves.”

Cool Girl Alert: This Student Has Friends AND “Guy Friends”

Campus Culture Student Life September 18, 2024

“Mii says her favorite thing about her guy friends is when they get extremely drunk at social functions and finally ask her questions about her life, like what major she is.”

Gassy Gasson Renovations, Bells Ring When Someone Passes Gas

Big Issues Campus Culture WTF September 16, 2024

Originally set for every quarter of the hour, the bells now ring every time someone passes gas. Even worse, an announcement echoes throughout the halls, sharing the name of who dealt it with the entire campus.

“Party In The modes!” Says Eager Calculator Stuck In Radian Mode

Campus Culture Sports WTF September 9, 2024

Popular Boston College meme, “Party in the modes,” was shared over 1,000 times that day, but no one was as excited to party in the modes as Cal Culator (MCAS 2025).

Stokes Set Artist Unavailable: There are No Men I Trust

Campus Culture Student Life September 6, 2024

“The Classic scoured up and down campus all week, searching for Men We Trust, but we are sad to report the search came up empty.”

Troy Bolton? Fowler Forced To Choose Between Love For Tap Dancing And Hockey

Campus Culture Sports April 11, 2024

“I’m petrified,” said Jacob Fowler (CSOM ‘27) “People know me for who I am on the ice, but I feel most myself on the stage…The rhythm of my shoes clicking and clacking as I hop and prance, it’s the most electric feeling.”

Slimers Stuns at Green Careers Night

Campus Culture April 10, 2024

“In a shock to all, Slimer, the Mean Green Ghost from Ghostbusters, slithered into Gasson 100 to stun the Green employers and alumni.”

LTE From The Moon Club President

Campus Culture LTE WTF April 8, 2024

Everyone won’t shut up about summer and tanning and blah blah blah. Who fucking cares! Get some sun on the quad on a different day, I just want to get high in the afternoon and watch that shit cover the sun. Stay pale, I literally dare you.