Overzealous RA Confiscates Resident’s Alcohol Functional Group

WALSH HALL — Resident Assistants across campus are adjusting to their newfound responsibility and power over dorm life. In Walsh, RAs deal with some of BC’s rowdiest and defiant students. From shotskis to bongs, RAs rule with an iron first, removing a myriad of drug and alcohol-related paraphernalia. However, Hugh Anerd (MCAS ’27) is claiming his RA went too far. 

“My RA literally took my alcohol functional group from my molecular modeling kit,” said Anerd. “How am I supposed to study? Orgo is one of the most tested subjects on the MCAT.” As an aspiring doctor and full-time complainer, Anerd told the Classic he doesn’t have time to ask the RA for it back, because of “lab, and office hours, and lab office hours, and a quiz, and an exam, and a quiz on the exam, and undergraduate research.” Woof! Unlike non-pre-med college students, Anerd sure has homework!

The Classic caught up with Anerd’s RA, Ty Ranie (CSOM ’25), who blames Anerd for his conduct violations.

“Hugh is brazen and obviously wreckless,” said Ranie. “He didn’t even care enough to try and hide the alcohol. He tried to excuse it by saying he was ‘computing redox reactions,’ blah, blah, blah — probably some slang for getting wasted.”

At press time, Ranie was seen confiscating nitrous oxide, the main component of Galaxy Gas, from Anerd’s dorm.

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