“Forever Fitz Girls” Are Over After Labor Day Weekend On The Cape
Campus CultureFreshmenStudent Life September 4, 2025
Madysynn and seven other residents on the second floor of Fitzpatrick Hall thought they had it all figured out. By Labor Day Weekend, they had already discussed plans for a Walsh 8-man and contacted Urban Realty about that house on Kirk for junior year. Little did they know, it would all come to a screeching halt by the time they passed Plymouth.
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Are Freshmen Getting Hotter? This Grad Student Thinks Yes!
Campus CultureFreshmenSexStudent Life August 28, 2025
With each August bringing increasingly large hordes of recent valedictorians, washed-up athletes, and guys named Jack, the question on every returning students’ mind remains the same: are freshmen getting hotter?
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Man Cooks Up ALC Showdown Parlay Following Tragic March Madness Bracket Loss
Campus CultureSchoolStudent Life April 11, 2025
However, once he realized his mistake and discussed the issue with the boys (many of whom had made the same mistake) Swatcher realized that he could use the event to quench his thirst for competition and fuel his ever-present gambling addiction.
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“The Pro-Life Club recently made waves within the BC community after the unveiling of their newest social event: the Baby Petting Zoo, featuring actual human infants ranging in age from 4 months, all the way up to 3 years old.”
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Circle Tavern Installs Bright Lights, Hockey Team Fails to Show Up
Campus CultureDrinkingSports April 1, 2025
“Ah, y’know, umm, when we were performing in that forgiving, low-stakes environment, y’know it’s just an all-out assault on the [bar-]tendy, throwing a lot of [Jägermeister] shots back,” said another player who could never finish his shots. “But now that they installed the bright lights, that high-pressure environment just became too much for us.”
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UGBC President Signs 17 Executive Orders On First Day of Administration
Big IssuesCampus CultureStudent Life March 26, 2025
In line with global political trends, the administration plans to implement projects that, in the words of one genius commentator, “make shit fucking suck even more than it already does”
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Guy Spent 5 Hours On Bracket But 20 Minutes on Group Project
Campus CultureSportsStudent Life March 24, 2025
His slides consisted of him ranking freshmen in Gonzaga and Xavier by height because he thought they were playing in the tournament.
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LTE: I’m The Fountain Outside Of Gasson Hall, And I Gave Up Water For Lent
Campus CultureLTE March 20, 2025
“I am a fountain that doesn’t even have fucking water in it. It was a stupid thing to give up water for Lent. I only did it because Fr. Leahy told me that if I wanted to stay on this Jesuit campus I had to engage with my faith more.”
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Day In The Life Of A UGBC VP Candidate
Campus CultureStudent Life March 19, 2025
I start every morning with affirmations, not for myself, but for the entirety of Foster Street. I shout “You are brave, you are kind, and you are smart” from my rooftop
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