ICYMI: Kyle Leads 3-Hour Game Of ISpy
STOKES QUAD – Everyone’s least favorite BC tradition, Stokes Set, took place Saturday night. Kyle, the genius behind 2016 hits such as “iSpy (featuring Lil Yachty)” and probably some other songs, hit the Stokes stage to a sold-out show. Much to students’ stupefaction, his beautiful serenades did not hit their ears. Instead of performing a solid 30-minute setlist while horrifyingly crossed, Kyle led a three-hour long game of ISpy.
Students screamed with excitement as Kyle walked onto the stage to perform. His intro music faded in, pulsing out of the speakers. Kyle began, binoculars in hand: “I spy with my little eye… something green!” obviously referring to the t-shirt of someone in the 3rd row. When the freshman audience responded with drunken ramblings of “grass” and “weed,” Kyle became visibly enraged.
Kylie Mittens (MCAS ’26), who left 15 minutes into the concert, gave her reaction to the performance. “I thought it was a fun little joke to get the audience hype before the show but then it kept going… and going. I was holding out hope for ‘iSpy (ft. Lil Yachty)’ but once he got aggressive about his shitty game I left.”
Kyle’s DJ seemed equally bewildered. The occasional “aye,” bass drop, and air horn were awkwardly woven into the game. Kyle’s backup dancers also remained dedicated, attempting to dance interpretively to each item that Kyle spied for the full three hours.
As the Gasson bells rang out at midnight, only four students remained on the grassy quad. All were members of the Campus Activities Board (CAB). Kyle continued still, “I spy with my little eye… The beautiful one. Short in stature with a kind smile and little ears. Round eyes with square glasses frames… trousers that end just above his ankle. Wearing a pendant– amber, soft and shining,” referring to one of the four CAB members left.
At press time, CAB was seen throwing money to other unknown one-hit wonder artists for Modstock.