Tinder Date Says There’ll Be Eight Inches of Snow; Probably Gonna Be More Like Five
Campus CultureStudent Life February 25, 2022 The New England Classic
2000 COMMONWEALTH AVE. — In the midst of a winless cuffing season and a week of weather that changes faster than CAB’s approval rating, countless Boston College students have turned to dating apps to engage in scintillating small talk about the weather with their many potential soulmates and/or potential hookups. One single lady, Isa D. Sapointment (MCAS ’23), sat down with The Classic to tell us about her luck (or lack thereof) on the Tinder scene.
“I try not to spend too much time on dating apps, but I’m running out of options,” said Sapointment. “The guys I meet at bars are generally weird and off-putting, and my Marriage Pact was holding a fish in his profile picture – so he’s out of the picture. The apps aren’t too bad, though. There’s this one guy I’ve been talking to from Tinder who seems really sweet.”
“Yeah, I’ve been talking to Isa. She has nice boobs,” said Juan Pump, Sapointment’s newest suitor. “We’re gonna hang out soon. She’s mad chill so far. Like we can talk about anything together.”
“We’ve only talked about the weather so far. But it’s really interesting!” Sapointment said. “I was like, ‘the weather is soo crazy rn,’ and he was like, ‘be careful out there, there’s gonna be like eight inches of snow tomorrow.’ He’s really insightful like that.”
However, contrary to Pump’s claim, tomorrow’s forecast predicts no more than five inches of snow.
In an effort to clear any confusion, Pump said, “Eight inches. It’s gonna snow eight inches. And who even cares exactly how many inches it snows? And honestly eight inches is too much snow anyways. If it snowed five and a half inches I think that’d be the perfect amount. Because that’s enough snow to have fun but it’s not too much. It’s not your business how much it snows, okay?! Just enjoy whatever snow you get.”
Forecasts aside, Sapointment and Pump are sure to have fun on their first date at 2:00am tomorrow.
