Grindr Surpasses Claude As Most Used Site In CSOM
Campus Culture November 2, 2026 The New England Classic
FULTON BACKROOMS — Despite a culture of hyper-masculinity and homophobia within the Carroll School of Management, an underground community of gay students remains active within the school. This is proven by the fact that Grindr has recently surpassed Claude as the most used site in CSOM, which demonstrates Grindr’s popularity and usefulness. Claude may instantly generate power-points for financial presentations, but Grindr instantly generates power-bottoms for when it’s time to really get down to business.
Boston College is facing distinct changes in the digital age due to AI, and some professors have even completely banned the use of technology during their classes. In a recently leaked email from the clenched backdoor of Fulton Hall, it was discovered that since the widespread availability of generative AI, the university has partnered with companies sharing our strong Jesuit values like Flock, Nvidia, and ExxonMobile, to very legally track website usage in each school and department at Boston College. BC Information Technology Services is currently working to prevent further email leaks by implementing a 43-Step verification process. For a long time, Claude, ChatGPT, and Edikted have been the most used sites in CSOM. However, recent reports have shown a victory over AI: the fresh, new, and homoerotic website, Grindr, has surpassed Claude in usage in Fulton Hall.
Many across campus are calling it a triumph over the seemingly inevitable reign of artificial intelligence. Boston College Climate Justice is proud to see the downturn of water-sucking AI platforms and the rise of sucking other things. Fr. John “Jack” Butler, S.J. did not have the same reaction, however, stating “the University will now require all students to complete a module on appropriate internet usage aligning with Boston College’s moral values.” Any student who does not complete the module will be forced to live on Newton or CoRo.
The one department that shares Grindr as the most used website is the Boston College Police Department. When asked for a statement, Officer D.L. Kweer insisted: “On Kirk, it is for safety purposes only.”
The New England Classic attempted to interview many male business students, but all refused to speak with us, despite their typical thrill to share their opinions, even when uninvited. The only comment we could elicit was from one student who stated “This is great news, Grindr helps students find connection, Claude helps students vibe-code apps that let you determine the maximum rent you can charge single mothers.”
Additionally, Campus Ministry accidentally replied-all to the leaked email, asking for a notarized list of all students who have visited the “morally-ambiguous” site so they could invite them to Kairos. The digital age is on the rise, causing students to increasingly weigh the cost of taking another Financial Accounting exam or starting an OnlyFans to make that “IB Bread.”
