BC’s Red Scare: Your RA Is A Communist

Chestnut Hill, MA — Boston College, a Jesuit Catholic University, built and maintained by men and women in pursuit of making the world a better place with certain guiding creeds …“Men and women for others,” “Set the world aflame”… “Property is theft?” Whatttttt?!

The Resident Assistants of the dormitories on Boston College’s campus have banded together in protest of how they have been treated. They feel that they have been underappreciated by such a wealthy university. According to RA Mark Ist (LSEHD ‘24), “It’s time for us to rise up, lose our chains, and overtake the ruling class of BC.”

According to the students, the ruling class is Father Leahy and his cabal of money grubbing bourgeois aristocrats hell bent on reaping the benefits of the cheap labor of student employees. The RA’s feel their work is undervalued with their responsibilities including busting freshman parties, making things suck all the time, and forcing students to show up to pointless meetings. 

Along with Father Leahy, a number of students have come out to support the university in its union busting efforts. A group of students wearing suits, bearing resumes in leather folders, and hoisting signs that say, “Hey Commies! BC-ing you… nowhere!” These CSOMers stand staunchly against the RA union.

Leader of this push for unionization is a foreign exchange student and Gonzaga RA Len In (MCAS ‘25). He is studying history with a focus on revolutions, especially those in Eastern Europe and Central America. He stated, “Yeah, man. We’re just here for a good time and to sweep the morally bankrupt into the dustbin of history.”

No matter how this situation will shake out, know this: Я испачкала свое узкое белое белье и, как бы я ни старалась, мне не удается вывести пятно. помоги мне, Оби Ван Кеноби!

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