“I Thought The Business School Was Male-Dominated,” Says Class Of 2029 Freshman Enrolled In CSON
FreshmenSchool March 27, 2025 The New England Classic
SOMEWHERE IN NEW CANAAN, CT — Tuesday, March 18th has come and gone, leaving some rising high school seniors incredibly happy, while others begin to plot the gruesome demise of the BC Admissions Committee. Although this day was a defining moment in the lives of many future Eagles or arsonists, it was a confusing day for one.
Mike Awkissmal, an aspiring Business student, told The New England Classic reporters that he opened his admissions letter and immediately felt his ego inflate upon reading the word, “Congratulations.”
“I knew I was going to get in,” said Awkissmal, “I’m literally him.”
However, soon after his admission and his mom joining a “Boston College 2029 Parents” Facebook Group, he was added to a group chat named, “CSON ‘29 ????❤️????????.”
Awkissmal reportedly did not think anything of this group chat name at first, saying “I thought it was just made by one of those Accounting bops.”
Shortly after being added to the group chat, Awkissmal started “DM’ing the fine shyts,” with the opening line, “I know we’re not Pre-Med students, but I can see us having chemistry together.”
Yet, to his surprise, there were a lot of “fine shyts” — more than he expected for the School of Management. And even more surprising, a number of the rising freshman women he DM’ed replied saying that they were, in fact, basically Pre-Med since they were Pre-Nursing students.
These radical discoveries led Awkissmal to recheck his admissions letter. Just then, he realized his grave mistake. He had applied and been accepted into CSON — The Connell School of Nursing, not CSOM — The Carroll School of Management.
However, Awkissmal still believes in his progress moving forward, saying, “Nursing will be a successful side-endeavor in my business career, I’m looking into the marketability of nursing as we speak. I plan on conquering the nurses. I’m literally still him.”
