Spring Break Planning Uncovers That No One In The Friend Group Actually Likes Each Other

WALSH HALL — Fort Lauderdale, Punta Cana, Miami! As the weather heats up, we’ve been curious as to how spring break planning is turning out for BC students. Through the thin walls of Walsh Hall, sophomores chatter about roommate preferences, expenses, and location possibilities. Though in theory it is an exciting time, it isn’t looking too pretty for the groups we spoke with.

Living situations are always difficult to maneuver, and Ima Problem’s (MCAS ’25) travel concerns are no exception. “I’d really rather not room with Maddie,” Problem said. “Or Charlie. I also can’t be with Jess because she watched Euphoria season two without me last year.”

After we asked her who she would preferably room with, Problem fell to an awkwardly long silence. She later informed us of her decision not to go to Cancun this spring break.

Though vacation planning may ruin friendships, it sometimes brings couples closer together. We contacted several anonymous girlfriends to poll and test the limits of these excruciatingly annoying BC couples. We found that 96 percent of these women saw no issue in bringing their boyfriend on the girls’ spring break trip. Mack Cuple (MCAS ’25) shares her thoughts on her other half joining in on the fun.

“No, they all LOVE him,” Cuple said. “He’s just one of the girls.” When asked, the other girls refused to comment.

We were also able to interview a group of men visiting Miami. George Archibald Jr. III (CSOM ’24) expressed his extremely specific preferences when traveling. “We must stay at the Ritz,” Archibald said. “I can bring us on my family’s jet but everyone has to chip in for the fuel costs.”

We followed up with George’s roommate, who only responded only with profanities so harsh that we have been barred from printing them by the Associated Press.

On a cautionary note, be aware of what are known as ‘Wealthy Scammers’ in coming weeks. Find yourself Venmo-ing your friend for that AirBnB he booked with his parent’s card? He may be pocketing a few dollars for himself. Dickheads are everywhere.

Despite the inevitable ruin of many friendships, we here at The New England Classic hope everyone has a relaxing vacation this spring break. Challenge yourself, try to come back with at least half of your group intact!

More Hot Single Sandwiches NEAR YOU:

Fucking Idiot Who Didn’t Lock The Door To The One-Person Bathroom Deserved To Be Walked In On New Perspectives Curriculum Concludes Highest Achievable Good Is The WHOPPER Jr.®️ “Can Someone Call the Uber?,” Asks Friend Who Never Calls the Uber SPOOKY: Blandest Person You Know Going As Maddy From Euphoria For Halloween