Campus Racists Attend “Acquitted Eagles Day”
DEVLIN HALL — Hoping it would be the foundation of a new campus tradition, the Office of Admissions held its first ever “Acquitted Eagles Day” on Sunday. The event consisted of a series of lectures and presentations for students formerly accused of racist acts, as well as a formal reception and keynote speech by University Spokesperson Jack Dunn.
Panels offered included “How To Rap ‘Bonfire’”, “How Many Times Would You Have Voted For Obama?” and “So, You Want To Do ‘The Hype?’” Students were also given the opportunity to network with other acquittees, and learn valuable strategies for deleting Facebook pictures, pointing out token friends, and encouraging peers to “un-save” Snapchat messages.
“This was a really fantastic program,” said Tyler Wilson (CSOM ‘20). “So many of us have been targeted so many times, it was really thoughtful of the school to put this together and help us find each other. There are so many victims of this system. Without a reliable support network, it can be really tough on a campus as closed-minded as this one.”
Historically, Boston College has refrained from using “weighted” words such as “racist,” “hate-crime,” and “responsible,” but Sunday’s summit faced that language head-on, aiming to exonerate its attendees of any reason to associate the phrases with themselves.
“Look, I’m just saying. If it’s in the song, then I should be able to say it,” explained Christopher Ethan Hunt Smith (CSOM ‘21). “It’s so hard to navigate the cultural landscape these days. It really feels like everything is aimed against guys like me. It helps to hear from others who have been ostracized and unfairly accused, only to be set free by our university’s esteemed and effective justice system.”
At press time, event coordinators were choosing speakers for the next event in April, the theme of which will be “Who Can See When You Like A Tweet?”