Student With Victim Complex Enrolls In Victimology, Expects An Easy A
Big IssuesSchool September 9, 2026 The New England Classic
THE BULL PEN (DEVLIN 008) — Victimology, a coveted course taught by a former FBI behavioral analyst, is known and loved for a multitude of reasons. Whether it be an interest in criminal behavior or a handcuff kink that initially draws students to the class, most students hope to leave Ann Burgess’ course with a new perspective on deviance. One student, Woeis Mee (MCAS ‘27), seems to have misunderstood the course’s focus, enrolling in Victimology because he sees himself as a “victim” of life.
With an investment banking return offer in his toolkit, Mee had high hopes of cruising through senior year like, “a babe fresh out the womb.” When talking to his academic advisor, Mee insisted that his top priority was “getting [his] funny up and money up.” Seeking an easy A, Mee’s attention was caught by Victimology, declaring it “light work.”
Within the first twenty minutes of the first class, Mee declared himself the victim in a variety of his life experiences: the car wreck that wasn’t his fault even though he cut off the other car, the F he received for plagiarism on the essay he had AI write, and his recent breakup.
As the class continued, Mee felt increasingly seen, and likened many of his personal experiences to those of the victims discussed. He opened up about how his stacked GCal smothered him like murderers smother their victims. He insisted that he understood the rage of serial killers, likening it to how he felt when his mom refused to sponsor his BBB (boys beer benders). Mee managed to share these revelations while simultaneously complaining about the class’s one reflection due per week, claiming he didn’t have the mental capacity to manage it with the distressing state of the market.
Following the lecture’s discussion of Han Von Hentig’s victim types, Mee was seen cussing out his ex-girlfriend for subjugating him to the lonesome and broken-hearted subtype. Distraught and disorderly, Mee claimed the snap he sent to her friend to “fuh” was just an attempt to hang out socially.
Following the confrontation, Mee was seen in an Eagle Escort back to his mod, claiming he fell victim to severe emotional distress and a loss of conviction in humanity.
